It was already morning, but this one was different, looking out the window and onto the snow-smudged grounds of my favorite place, the place that held irreplaceable memories of my family, both good and bad.

I couldn't sleep all night, I stayed awake fantasizing about what life would look like when we finally leave this place, this hell hole.

I was eager for the next day to come and now the day has come and I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave my home, I took my first baby steps here.

Standing in front of the room I've always spent most of my time, my comfort zone, looking over to my veiled vanity, I haven't dared to look into the mirror in a long time in fear that I might see my worst nightmare staring at me, three years is a long time, still, yet I could not get over the mess he made, why would I look at myself in the mirror when I knew how much I looked like him I was not going to torture myself like that.

Mum had become a mess, a shadow of herself since that night, the night the cops came requesting to see dad, I had come downstairs for a snack just to see him in cuffs, I demanded an explanation and begged him to say something to me, I begged him to look into my eyes but he didn't.

And that was the last day I saw him. He used to be my hero. Now I doubt any of that existed and that alone traumatizes me. People change I get, so it is what it is.

After all the investigations on the serial rapist case were done, all evidence led to him, and there was nothing we could do, he was guilty therefore mum had forbade me from visiting him not as I could anyway, she was so heartbroken that she went into false labor and lost her baby, my brother.

Mum had resulted to drowning herself in her work we barely saw each other, and even though we lived under the same roof we were distant, she was always gone before I woke up and back late at night when I was asleep, she worked extra hours for us, she said but I knew better that it was all to escape reality.

Dad was convicted for allegedly defiling young teenagers of both genders, so it took us a surprise since dad strongly criticized rape.

Luckily we'd be moving to Calgary today, to start a new life, a better one since the whole neighborhood avoided us like a plague.

We'd be happy somewhere no one knew us, hopefully, mum would go on dates, find love and be happy she is still young and healthy anyways.

Walking out the entrance door and I walked straight ahead to the car without looking back.

The drive to the airport was slow and the silent mum never talked much. I wasn't one to love conversations so I wasn't going to start one even if I craved it.

Rin? I heard mum calling, instantly jolting me out of my thoughts.

Yes Mum, go on I said hurriedly because anytime she called my name I was always eager for the few words she was willing to grace me with.

Okay so, did you tell your friends we'd be moving today? She said, looking at me briefly.

Yes I did, and they'd be waiting for us at the airport. I said running my hands through my hair.

Okay, that's great, she said, focusing on the road.

I had three friends, Sophia, my best friend since kindergarten, Isabella the over-reactive friend, and Brand, my right-hand man. He was always there for me when I needed him. He protected me when the students were throwing things at me in the hallway.

They were the three best friends a girl could ever ask for, they stayed close to me when I was getting threatening letters in my locker.

Turning my attention to mum, her shoulder-length hair framed her face complementing her sharp jawline, passionate green eyes that could see through you, her perfect round nose, pink plump lips, and wide hips that scream elegance. Somehow even amid her troubles, she managed to look as fresh as a daisy.
Probably one of the reasons that made dad attracted to her.

They had met in high school, and apparently, their love became stronger, they started scheduling a future together, and they both chose to attend the Oxford university so they wouldn't be away from each other even though mum's parents didn't approve of it, having got married in their final year and gave bath to me two years later.

Dad being a medical doctor and mum a nurse, his license was seized after he was proven guilty of serial rape.

I've been left to ponder on how many times he had stalked me in my room at night imagining I was one of his numerous victims. How badly does he wish to hurt me?
I can't come to terms with the fact
that I lived with the monster that I and everyone else out there are scared of. The reason I never went out late, the serial rapist that had been wanted for a year, was my sorry excuse of a father.

I'd be lying if I said he wasn't a good actor. Those times I'd catch him staring at me while I slept. He'd claim he wanted to make sure I was alright.
He even taught me how to fight. He said his dad was military personnel so he was taught how to fight and he wanted to teach me too, "so you can defend yourself" were his words.