"What..." My lips wobbled in fear and anticipation.

"You heard it right, Amy. My family is now your biggest shareholder. That's what my parents have been planning to do since day 1." Cynric's words didn't quite register in my head.

"I know it's hard to believe but—" I cut Cynric off to say,

"Your family is plotting something, isn't it? Is that why you wanted to be my lover?" My heart was shattered, I had to confirm.

"Amy, what nonsense? If I had such ulterior motives, I wouldn't have fallen in love with you and rather just continue...blackmailing you." He brushed the topic from our past which sent shivers down my spine. I knew it. I shouldn't have said yes to Cynric in the first place.

I shouldn't have let him be my another reverse harem.

"That's disgusting, Cynric. I don't want to see your face." He had his mouth agape, a scoff walking out.

"What the fuck, Amy? I told you I didn't know anything about this. It was my parents' decision! I'm not even a part of their family business!" Cynric exclaimed, but deep down, all I could translate his words as, 'I'm going to bring you down, Frostbites.'

The warm sensation of guilt and regret spread through my chest. I shook my head, putting my hand against him.

"Please leave." Saying, I fished out a bunch of bills to compensate for my share of food. He paid for all of them. He looked at me with eyes gleaming with betrayal and mostly, hurt.

"Amy, you're not understanding me."

"You're the biggest regret of my life, Cynric." I needed to get out of there fast.

"Amy!" Cynric held my hand just when I turned on my heel to leave.

"Is this...how you want to end it?" His voice was dripping with regret and fear. In his eyes, I could tell that he was repenting and opening his mouth. Maybe this wasn't the right time, he thought. But to me, if he revealed it any time during our relationship, I would have left him either way.

"There was nothing between us to begin with. Goodbye." Taking the opportunity of his surprise and dilemma, I yanked my wrist away and walked off.

Reaching home, I looked at myself in the mirror. What was I doing? I had a show the next day for which I had to look my absolute best. My mouth was watering and saliva was coating my teeth and everything.

Looking into the mirror, glaring at myself, I put two fingers in and induced voluntarily. Everything was out, I didn't stop until everything was out of my system.

By the time I was done, my throat and everything was burning from the spicy food. Snot covered the top of my lips and tears covered my cheeks. Cleaning everything up in disgust, I walked into my closet and stripped.

"You're the worst...Amy."

My tummy which was out just a few moments ago, was sucked in. It looks flat and pretty. But then, I gazed up at my face. I've never looked so...lifeless.

The bitter side of the table has risen. I couldn't help but think about everything that happened to me until now.

"You're such a whore...a fool!" I screamed at myself, pulling my hair.

Was I cursed to never find love? Why is it always me?

The breakdown was harsh. I found myself alone in my walk-in closet, on the ground. How long have I been crying for? I had no idea. I stood back up, disgustingly looking at my swollen face and messed up hair.

Sniffling, I pulled out a drawer I swore to never touch.

I squirted a generous amount - more than needed - into my palm and looked into the mirror one last time. And then, my hands rubbed over my skin with foundation until I looked like a clown. Following that, I spent the whole night covering my face up with makeup.

I couldn't sleep, despite knowing I had a big day the next day.

I needed to look...perfect.

***

30TH DECEMBER, 20XX

Today HAS to be perfect. After everything that I did, this is the only way I can gain the attention back on myself and feel good.

Clarissa, Winter, Crystal and I will be performing our dance piece third in line.

"Hurry up, hurry up! You're going to be late!" Our dance teacher on campus was at the venue, too! Barking instructions left and right, she made sure everything was up to her expectations.

"Crystal, I need help with the earrings!" I exclaimed and asked for help.

"Sure! And I need— Whoa." Crystal's divided attention made me look at where she was gazing. It was...

"Aria Chen..." Winter spoke behind us. I turned my gaze away, but the other two kept staring at her.

"She looks like snow white, what the hell?" Crystal said,

"I bet there's no one prettier than her backstage right now. What's her piece?" Winter asked and I replied, "Fifth show, 'A Love Story' stage play."

Winter and Crystal gasped.

"Aria was the one who was selected...?" Crystal was flabbergasted and so was I. We all auditioned for that role, weeks ago. But we failed miserably since none of us could portray emotions through our eyes like Madam Claire expected us to. The French woman, our drama teacher Madam Claire, had a standard quite unreachable. But there she was, playing the dream role I wanted.

"It's no use comparing. We've got what we got. Our dance should rock the stage, let's make sure of that." I said in a mellow voice, looking at my lap.

"Ah!~ That's the spirit, baby girl! Let's rock the stage!" Crystal shook my shoulders, my happiness was back temporarily.

"Third show is up! Don't make me look bad, girls! Get going, come on!" Our dance teacher, Ms Hana Smith, cheered and clapped loudly.

"Phew..." I breathed out, standing behind Winter, the tallest girl.

Our piece would be amazing, for it was the iconic Christmas-themed performance ever!

"Here we go~

Our next performance by the hottest girls on campus dance to the iconic...

JINGLE BELL ROCK!"