CHAPTER 6

Aniah’s POV

“Fuck, this is exhausting,” I mumbled after I cleaned the whole unit. Promise it is really tiring, I cleaned the unit right after my meeting with my employees in Paris. 

I looked around and I am satisfied with the result. It is so neat. Everything is clean and pleasing to the eye. 

I vacuumed the couch as well as the bed and mattresses. Inah might get allergies to dust so I vacuumed it very well. I also changed the covers and sheets. And now I need to do the groceries. 

I went inside Inah’s room and she is still asleep. I will just leave a note for her so that she will not find me later. I already told her earlier that I will go to the grocery after I clean the unit. 

After taking a bath, I immediately changed into sweat shorts and a t-shirt. There is a near supermarket around the area so I will just walk here to there. It is just a 5-minute walk from here.

I forgot to ask Inah what she wants so maybe I will just pick anything that I think she will like later. While waiting for the elevator, I searched Food that is good for pregnant women on the search bar. This will help me to buy the groceries that Inah needs. 

I looked up when I hear the elevator ring. We are already on the ground floor so I immediately stepped out of the elevator. I miss doing this. It’s been a while since the last time that I bought groceries alone. I usually ask someone to do it for me abroad, or sometimes I just order online. 

I still clearly remember way back in college, I am always excited to buy groceries and I am still excited to do it now that I am an adult. Some things still stay the same. Old habits really die hard.

“Take care, ma’am.” The security guard of this building is still thoughtful. I don’t know if he still remembers me but I still remember him. He is so kind and he is so passionate about his job. I smiled at him and he smiled back. 

The feeling of this place is still the same, the renovations are evident but the feeling that it gives me is still the same. This place is really my home. I am very comfortable in this place, I can do whatever I want here. This place is where time molded and changed me into who I am today.

When I reached the supermarket I immediately grabbed the push cart and then I open my cell phone. Even though she likes it or not she will eat fruits and vegetables during the span of her pregnancy. 

When it was time to buy the snacks, I stopped in my tracks when I realized that I am getting too many chips and chocolates. 

“This is bad for the baby,” I whispered to myself. I am getting conscious to the food that Inah is going to eat as time progress. I guess this is good.

“What else do I need to buy?” 

“I should make a list next time so I will not have a hard time.” I was talking to myself when my phone rang. It’s Inah.

“Yes?”

“Can you please buy some green mangoes?” 

“Wait, let me check if there are green mangoes here at the supermarket.” I immediately went to the fruits section and to my dismay there is no green mangoes. I approached the salesman and asked him if there are green mangoes at the store. Maybe I just did not see it. I am trying my luck. But to my disappointment, there are really no green mangoes at the department store. 

“Inah, there are no green mangoes here.” I started to walk to the aisle where I can buy our essentials while I am waiting for her reply.

“Can you look at the wet market?” 

“I don’t think the wet market is still open at this hour,” I answered. It is nearing ten o’clock in the evening.

“But I am craving for it.” Fuck pregnancy. This shit is really giving me a hard time.

“Okay, I will try to buy some. I will just finish buying our stocks then I am good to go.” I hear her say goodbye and thank you before cutting the line down.

“Where I can buy green mangoes at this hour?” I pouted. This will take me forever. I push my cart directly to the counter when I already got the things that we will need for the next few days. I hope these groceries will last until I came back from Heiberg. 

After paying for my groceries, I asked the bagger to help me put the groceries outside and he gladly followed. I don’t know if I should give him a tip or what but maybe I should. The groceries are quite heavy. I don’t know how I will go home later. I told him to wait for a little while because I need to withdraw money because I have no cash with me right now and I know that I cannot use my card on the wet market. I am not that idiot.

He smiled when I gave him a tip, then I shyly asked if he knows where I can buy green mangoes at this hour. 
“Do you know a place that sells green mangoes at this hour?” I shyly asked. Promise I have no idea if the wet market is still open at this hour.

“You can look at the wet market on the next street, If I am not mistaken they are still open at this hour. But if it is already closed, I don’t think you can buy green mangoes tonight.” 

“Oh, thank you very much.” I smiled at him.

I hope it is still open. Please Lord make it open. 

If I can fly to that street I will not hesitate to do that. I need to buy those freaking green mangoes. I read some of the articles earlier when I was searching for the food that is best for pregnant women, all the cravings of pregnant women must be satisfied. I don't know if it is legit but there is no harm in believing. Though it is a hassle, no one will buy green mangoes for her now. No one knows about her situation now so I must do this.

I almost jump when I saw green mangoes from afar. I am only nearing the street that the boy told me about earlier and I am thankful that there are green mangoes and they are still open. 

“Thank God you are still open.” That was the first phrase that I mumbled after seeing the lights from the store. I did not literally jump, I am just excited because I can finally go home after this. I badly want to rest.

“What are you going to buy miss?” An old lady approached me. Maybe she is around sixty to seventy years old, I am not sure but I think her age is between sixty and seventy.

“Uhm, I want to buy three kilos of these.” I pointed to the green mangoes and she smiled. I want to make sure that Inah will not wake me up later if the mangoes that I bought are not enough for her. I want to rest later and I hope she will allow me to. 

“Are you pregnant miss?” Her question made me look at her. Sheesh because of these green mangoes and because of Inah someone already mistakenly took me as the pregnant woman. 

I laughed and waved my hand dismissively. “Uh, no, no. It is for my sister. She is the one who is pregnant, not me.” I awkwardly laughed. People here in the Philippines are quite funny but annoying most of the time. Meddling with other people's lives is their hobby, as well as talking about the lives of other people, even their relatives. That is the reality of being a Filipino, it is happy but there are times that it is not.

“Oh sorry for that. I will give you more fruits, give them to your sister.” Wow, she is so kind to give me freebies. Despite the toxic trait that some Filipinos have, their natural kindness will never face away. 

“Wow! It’s so nice of you! Thank you very much!” I smiled and bowed a little. She is so kind.

“No worries. Take care of your sister.” She smiled before giving the plastic bags that contain the fruits of Inah.

“Thank you again, I promise I will come back and buy more fruits soon.” Now I will not have a hard time if Inah will ask me to buy fruits for her cravings again. I already have a store in mind. 

I waved my hand before walking back to the grocery store where I left the groceries that I bought. A lot of things happened today, this day is super tiring and exhausting but I learned a lot. Now I know how to take care of a pregnant woman, and when it is my turn to get pregnant I will not have a hard time taking care of myself. 

“Now, how I will bring this to my condo?” I cannot walk back to the condo with the groceries and these fruits. They are freaking heavy and I am sure that I cannot carry them all while walking. 

I looked at the bags of groceries and I creased my forehead when I realized how many and heavy all of those bags are. I don’t have a Grab application on my phone because I don’t usually commute now. Maybe I will just wait for an empty taxi to come my way. 

When I saw an empty taxi coming in my direction, I waved my hand. Thankfully, the taxi stopped in front of me.

“Inovero tower 3 please.” That is where I live, at the Inovero tower 3. The driver nodded and when she saw the eco-bags behind me he went out of the taxi and then he gets all of the bags to put them inside the taxi’s trunk. 

Thankfully I withdrew some cash earlier to buy green mangoes. I prepared some cash to pay for the ride. I prepared extra money, just a token for being a kind driver. He helped me with my groceries even though he is not obliged to do so.

“Ma’am on the parking lot gate or on the front door of the tower?” 

“On the front door please.” He nodded. 

Maybe I will just ask for the guard’s help in carrying the groceries. I will need to walk for a little while before reaching the elevator so I will really need a helping hand later.

When the taxi stopped, the taxi driver went out to get my groceries in the trunk. I waited for him to finish before finally thanking him.

“Thank you very much!” I smiled before giving him the money, he thanked me but he seems hesitant on accepting the money. I heard him say that it is too much for a five-minute ride but I ignored him.

The guard saw me struggling so he approached me and helped me. It seems like he did not remember me at all. I am not sure if he really can’t remember me or if there’s a lot of change that happened for him not to remember me but anyways I am glad that he helped me.

“Finally I can rest.” That’s what I said when I finally entered my condo unit. I saw Inah seating on the couch and she stood up when she saw me.

“Let me help you with that.” But she only grabbed the plastic bags that contains the fruits for her. I shook my head. What a baby.

I just put the wet goods in the refrigerator and told Inah that I will rest already. I am so tired please, I will organize the other goods tomorrow morning. My body can’t do it anymore.

“Have a good night! Sweet dreams! And thank you for the green mangoes!” That is the last thing I heard from Inah before entering my room. 

“I will wake up early tomorrow.” That is what I told myself before finally sleeping, I did not bother to change my clothes because I was too tired to even do that.

***

“Fuck.” 

It is already ten in the morning. I looked at my phone and shit I forgot to put an alarm yesterday. I have a lot of things to do. I will organize the goods in the kitchen for fuck’s sake. And fuck, did Inah eat already?

“Inah! Inah!” I called Inah a few times before finally finding her in the kitchen. She is already eating cereals. 

“Good morning!” She greeted me. 

“Morning.” I greeted back. I get myself a bowl and grabbed the cereals from Inah’s hold. 

“Is this your breakfast?” I poured a lot of milk on my cereals because I am starving.

“Actually, this is my third bowl already. I finished the strawberries inside the fridge already.” I nodded. I need to get used to Inah’s new eating habits. I think I should buy more groceries before I start my operation at Heiberg University. 

I stand up to get some bananas inside the fridge and Inah did not lie, there are no strawberries left in the fridge, even its leaves. I slightly laughed. The baby inside her tummy is always hungry, that baby will be healthy that’s for sure.

“Can you give me some of that too?” She pointed to the bananas that I am slicing so I nodded.

“Is this enough or should I add more?” I asked her.

“More.” She is really becoming a heavy eater. Pregnancy really hits differently. I am slowly enjoying this side of Inah. I wonder what will be our mother’s reaction when she saw Inah eating heavily like this.

“Okay, sure.” I grabbed more bananas inside the fridge because I know that the bananas I sliced is not enough for Inah.

“Where are the groceries?” I asked her when I noticed that the groceries I left here last night is not here anymore. 

“I already organized it, no need no worry.” She resumed eating after saying that. 

“Thank you, but do not do that next time. You should not do heavy things alone.” She nodded and she get more bananas on the plate in front of her before mixing them with her cereals. 

That is how I spend the first hours of my morning before finally deciding to fit the clothes that we bought yesterday.

“How do I look Inah?” I want her to judge how I look. I forgot to go to the parlor yesterday so maybe I will just go later. 

“You look cool.” She said while nodding.

“Do I look like a man already?” This is what I want to hear. I need to look like a man.

“You look good, to be honest. But you will look more handsome if you don’t have long hair.” 

“I know. I just forgot to go to the salon yesterday.” I walked in front of the full-length body mirror in the living room.

“Hmm, not bad.” I looked at every angle and uhuh this is not bad.

Thank God I am five foot nine. I am 5’9” and I will definitely look good at the things I bought. I don’t have big boobs so that will not hinder me in my plan. Hayst, my chest is not as blessed as Inah’s but it is okay, it is not a big deal to me.

I bought clothes in neutral colors so that it is easy to match. I am naturally tall and my foot is also long so I bought shoes from the male’s section. 

Inah and I are totally different in terms of physical appearance. I am tall, slim, and morena, unlike her who is five foot five with a sexy body and mestiza skin. I always look like the snob one, maybe because of my resting bitch face but I cannot do anything about it.

Inah is the natural sweet girl, unlike me who needs to be tamed before acting sweet. We were raised to be elegant and classy and that is the only thing that I love about our childhood. We were thought how to dress properly, how to act properly, and how to be elegant and classy. 

Because of those things, I did not have a hard time finishing my degree in fashion design. My job is not just a job but it is my love and passion. I am lucky that I am not working for money but I am working to achieve my dreams in my chosen field. I never get tired of doing my craft because it is really my first love.

I looked at myself in the mirror for the second time. Even though my girly side one hundred percent disagrees with the way I look right now I can’t help myself but to nod and comfort myself. This will be quick and your hair will grow as fast as you can imagine. And you can wear hair extensions after this operation.

“Okay, this is good.” I changed into my house clothes before sitting with Inah in the living room. She is watching Netflix right now and I can sense that she is enjoying it. Thankfully she is also having her semestrial break. 

Shit. That is another problem. Is Inah attending her graduation with a big tummy? It is five months away and for sure Inah’s tummy will be as big as a watermelon. But I should not worry about that now, I need to finish the thing with the father of this child first.

“How are you feeling, Inah?”

“I am fine.” She smiled and I noticed that she is eating again. She has a bowl of grapes on her lap. 

“Any morning sickness?”She shook her head.

“Do you get dizzy?” She shook her head.

“Do you feel like vomiting? Or nausea?” She shook her head.

“Just tell me if you are craving something, and I will buy it for you.” She looked at me then she uttered thank you.

She is watching a documentary and I am not interested so I decided that I should get my hair done at the near salon.

“Inah, I will just go to the salon, and if you want something you can just order online. Just use my card for paying.” I stood up and I saw her nod in my peripheral vision.

I will take a bath because I did not wash my body yesterday before sleeping. It is quite cringy but I am so tired yesterday and I did not bother cleaning myself up. And I am alone, if I will be sleeping with someone I will definitely clean myself even if I am exhausted and drained as fuck. 

I am not sure if the salon that I used to go to during college still offers services for males. I hope they are because I can’t trust anyone aside from them to cut my freaking long hair. Maybe I will donate my hair because what is the sense of keeping it? 

After readying myself I bid my goodbyes to Inah before leaving the unit. I will use my car today because it is a bit far from here and it is hard to commute in this area. Almost everyone who lives in this area owns a car. 

I am still contemplating my decision when I entered the salon. I am still unsure about this. The hairdresser asked me a question that adds up to my confusion.

“Darling, are you sure you want to cut your hair this short?” I did not speak, I just stared at my reflection in front of me.

“If you are heartbroken darling and you are in the phase of moving on right now, we can still cut it but not too short.” She tries to convince me and it is working. I almost back out but I can’t.

“No. Please cut it like this.” I showed a picture that I saw on the internet that I think will fit the shape of my face. She pouted and nodded. I want to pout too because this is heartbreaking for me. I haven’t done this my whole life. I have had long hair since I was a kid, I always have hair treatments because that’s how I love my hair. 

“Do you want to donate your hair darling?” I nodded.

“Your hair is so shiny and silky. It is so pretty.” I smiled. 

“Can you please lend me a magazine?” I asked and she immediately grab one from her side.

ELLE

That is the word that is written on the front page. 

Oh to be part of this magazine, that is my dream. One day, my designs will be here and my clothing line will be known around the world. One day, I promise. 

Hannah Cawley
Rachel Scott
Rui Zhou
Hannah Hopkins
Katya Zelentsova

One day, my name will be next in line. My designs will be part of this magazine and my designs will be featured in different magazines around the world. I know that I will succeed, and for the dream of my five-year-old self, I will be successful in the fashion industry. 

I did not notice that my haircut is done. And fudge dude I am handsome. 

“I look like my dad.” I laughed. The resemblance is really evident. Wow. I only noticed how similar are my features to my dad's. 

“Darling it suits you.” The hairdresser smiled. It really suits me and I do look like a boy and I look like the younger version of my dad. Amazing.

“Thank you. It is amazing.” I laughed. Thank God it suits me. It is not bad at all.

 She showed me the hair that she cut for me and it was very long and shiny. 

“Ahhh, I will miss my long hair.” When I touch my neck it feels naked, I am not used to it but I know I will be in no time. 

I looked at my nails and I realized that I need my fake nails to be removed. I can’t enter Heiberg University as a man with these long nails. I can’t imagine that look. 

“Do you offer nail services?” I asked. If I am not mistaken they do offer nail services.

“Yes darling, we do.” She handed me a brochure where I can pick the designs of my next nail but sadly I can’t pick right now. What I need right now is clean nails with no nail polish or glitter on them. 

“Oh, I can’t make my nails look glamorous. I just need a neat and clean one, without any color on it.” I sadly refused. Gosh, maybe I need to spoil myself after this operation. I will literally spend a lot of money on pampering myself.

“Oh, sure if that’s what you want then we are good to go.” How badly I want to have colors on my nails but that is not what I need now.

My eyes are fixed on my nails as the lady removes my fake nails. I guess bye-bye fake nails for the meantime. Promise, this operation will be quick. 

The way my fake nails are slowly removed from my nails is so satisfying, it is similar to what I can see on the Tiktok app. Minutes have passed and the session is done. I thanked the lady that cleaned my nails before leaving the salon. 

So far, Inah is still not texting or calling me regarding her cravings. Maybe she just ordered food online, it is less hassle that way.

The drive from the salon to the Inovero Tower took me around thirty minutes because of the traffic. I only stayed two hours at the salon and I forgot that the traffic starts to move heavily during the afternoon. Maybe I should go earlier next time.

When I arrived at the condominium Inah is still in front of the television and she is still watching Netflix. She already changed her clothes so I guess she already took a bath. And like what I expected, she did order a lot of food online. All the paper bags and containers are beside the center table.

Maybe I need to order food for myself because I am now well aware that these foods are only for Inah and her baby. She noticed my arrival when I put my car keys down on the countertop. 

“Oh my! You look like dad!” She screamed. Okay, I was right, I really looked like our dad. 

“Yes, yes. I am already aware of that. I saw myself in the mirror already.” I said. I just sit next to her and opened my phone to order something from food panda.

“Oh my gosh! I should try finding dad’s picture when he was still young.” She giggled. She did not bother posting the movie that is playing in front of me, instead, she started clicking and giggling on her phone.

Growing up, I always look at my mom’s young pictures and not my dad’s. I always want to look like mom because maybe that way she will treat me better but of course, it will not happen, I am really a morena. Numerous people already told me that I am the female version of my dad and I always laugh it off, our dad is handsome so it is totally fine but I can’t stop myself from thinking that maybe if I was a mestiza my mom would adore me more. 

With my thick eyebrows and high nose, I can’t lie that I got my dad’s genes. 

“Inah I will go to Heiberg tomorrow.” She looked at me with curiousness in her eyes.

“But I will not be bringing my things with me. I am not that sure if I can really enter and enroll in that university.” But to be honest I am silently praying that I can enter and enroll because that will be helpful in finding Ababa. 

“Oh, so I will be alone here tomorrow?” I nodded. If manang already knows about her pregnancy I will ask her to stay here for a while but still, we need to keep it a secret until we find Ababa. It seems like we are in a movie or series wherein someone will disguise and pretend because they have a secret mission and such. I can’t believe that I am doing that right now. 

“Inah you should learn how to be independent. I am not always here by your side and our maids are not always there to do things for you. And in nine months you will be a mom so you should start learning things.” I looked at her and she is already looking at me. 

“You should learn to cook, clean, wash the dishes, wash the clothes, and buy groceries. If you will become a wife to your baby’s father you need to know all of that.” That is the thing that I learned from manang but I did not see any of that in my mom. It is always the maids.

“You can’t always depend on someone about the things you are capable to do. Anyone is capable of doing a lot of things especially if they are willing to do things.” I need to teach her to be independent, I only have one month's vacation from my work and it is supposed to be my rest month but it turns out to be a month of finding Ababa. 

“You need to be strong for yourself and for your baby. And be prepared for the things that you might hear around you once the news came out to the public. We are not public figures but our parents are. Their names will be tainted by that so ready yourself. I am not scaring you but I am just telling you.” I need to make her aware as early as possible because I don’t want her to be shocked by how toxic society is. 

“There are people who are always there, waiting for you to make a mistake. Those are the people who want you down. But always remember that you can’t be disheartened by that truth. That’s how reality works. You just need to prove to them that despite your mistakes and shortcomings, you will be successful and happy in the future. No matter how heavy their judgments are, just be yourself.” I smiled and patted her head. 

I heard the doorbell ring so I stood up. That is my order.