CHAPTER 4

Aniah’s POV

“Are you sure about your plan?” Aninah asked me the next day.

“How many times you will ask me that question? Can you please shut up? I am getting pissed Inah. Please be quiet in the meantime okay? I am thinking about how I will find a way for manang not to ask too many questions. And I am thinking of a plan on how I will hide your pregnancy from manang. You know how good she is at observing.” I annoyingly said to Inah. I continued putting my lipstick up until she cleared her throat and speak again.

“I can’t t really understand your way of thinking. Do you really need to get that far just for me?” How assuming can Inah be? Is it part of her pregnancy? I hope it’s just her hormones.

“Hayst. Don’t mind me and just follow me. Just think about yourself and your baby.” Wow, she really has a baby now. I am not used to it.

“Okay, Thank you so much!” She smiled widely and it annoyed me.

“Where are your things? Is it already prepared? Can you prepare it? Or do I need to help you?” I asked and asked and asked and asked. I want to check on her. She is not used to this situation, even me, I don’t know how are we able to manage that.

“My things are already prepared. I just need to get my baggage later if we are ready to go. But to be honest I am nervous and anxious right now. I don’t know why but I am. 

“Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Don’t be nervous. I am the one who will disguise as a man, and I will be the one who will be in danger if something bad happens so calm down.” I am trying my best to also calm down, the risk that I am taking costs my life really!!!

“Let’s go,” I said before I leave her in my room. She is always not in her usual self. She seems lost. Maybe because she is still surprised by what is happening, and maybe she still can’t believe that she is really pregnant. 

I walked past her room and grabbed her luggage. I will not allow her to carry her things. My gosh, it’s so heavy! She will come back here for fuck’s sake!

But to be honest, I think Aninah is pranking me but why she will do that right? But who is in the right state of mind that will tell me that she is pregnant and the father of her child is named Ababa? Like I don’t know if she is bluffing or what.

“Iah, where are you going? Are you leaving already?” Manang asked me as she saw me walking down the stairs with two pieces of luggage in my two hands, one is for me and the other one is Inah’s. 

“Uhm, manang we are going to stay in my condo for the meantime.” I can hear my heartbeat right now as it can explode anytime. I am freaking nervous! I can see the confusion on her face, the way her forehead creased and her eyebrows furrowed. Aisht, my conscience is killing me slowly!

“Why?” I don’t know how I will answer, and I don’t know what to answer. I am lost for words. Oh, my freaking gosh! This situation is fucking killing me inside!

“Uhm, manang I will fix something and I need to focus badly. My condo is near my agenda so it will be easier for me. And Inah wants to go with me. She wants to bond with me because she misses me a lot. Uhm, that’s what she told me manang.” Phew, I hope she will believe my lies. I am very sorry manang. I am so so so so sorry that I am lying right now.

“Oh? When are you coming back?” I want to tell her that I don’t know and I have no idea but I can’t. And manang have some mercy please, can you please stop asking questions already?

“Uhm, maybe after my agenda manang. There is no specific time manang but I will call here, or I will call you once we are going home already.” Sheesh, I don’t know when it’s going to be but I hope it will be fast.

“Okay, okay, no worries. Take care and please look after your sibling.” Manang smiled at me. My condo is safe, I lived there for around four years. I lived through my college days there and it was the most fulfilling yet sad days of my life.

I thought manang is done with her questions but I am wrong. 

“Does your parents know this Iah? They might call one of these days and ask me about Inah.” Ouch, about Inah. How about me manang? They always forgot about me. 

“Not yet manang. I will tell them as soon as we got there.” Sorry, manang but I don’t have plans on telling them. They will get mad at me for this decision of mine. And they will see me as a bad influence on Inah. 

“Okay, but if they call one of these days I will tell them. Is that okay with you? I don’t them to worry about the two of you.” Manang sincerely said.

It’s not okay with me manang but I will not let you know. Anything, where mom and dad are involved, is not okay with me. And they will definitely not worry about me, they will worry for Inah but not for me.

“Okay, manang.” As if I have any other choice to choose from.

“Manang we’re going! Take care of yourself and please take care of the other housemaids too!” Inah is really sweet and prim. She is too innocent and she is the last person I expected to undergo teenage pregnancy.

“Take care Inah! Don’t be stubborn and be good to your sister. And Iah, take care of your sister, and don’t be too hard on her. You know that Iah is still young and she is too innocent for the world.” I just nodded because I don’t have the energy left to lie and pretend.

TOO INNOCENT. I hope she is really innocent manang. I really don’t understand Inah why she let that happen to her. Is she that innocent?

My mind seems like it is floating on the whole duration of our ride going to my condominium. I am that clouded with thoughts. I am also thinking of instances, like what if I am the one who is in Inah’s position right now? Who will help me? Who will take the risks for me? And who will sacrifice for me? No one. No one will. 

Inah just enjoyed clicking and swiping on my car. She did not allow a song to finish. Every after crocus she will change the song. How annoying that is! But I am not in the mood to put a catfight between us so I allowed her to do what she wanted. 

When we arrived at my condo I explained to her what are the things that she must remember. There are no maids here, there are no drivers, and this condo is only allowed for independent women. In short, I scared her. 

I am aware that she can’t live without a maid, without a driver, and without someone, she can depend everything on but I have no choice. She needs to be independent, she needs to handle herself, and she needs to learn how to take care of herself. She is going to be a mom and she cannot always ask someone to do things for her. She needs to learn, either automatically or the hard way. 

I will not be sorry if she will have a hard time here. I also learned to be independent in the hardest way I think that is possible. I grew independently without knowing what is a support system and without experiencing what that is. The only difference between me and my sister is that she has me, I will support her no matter what. And unfairly, she also has the support of my parents. Not physically, but I know they will always choose Inah over everything. 

Why did I say that? They can have vacations with her, and they can free their days just to attend Inah’s milestones, and I hope I experienced that even once.

“Inah you can choose between that two doors. They are both guestrooms. You can have them both if you kinda feel like it.” I told her when we finally entered my condo unit. Yes, it is big. This is the last thing my parents gave me. Maybe this is the only thing that I will inherit from being the black sheep of our family. Still, I can’t really comprehend why I feel that they loathe me so much. 

Can you imagine that I lived here alone? I miss my college friends. They are always here, for sleepovers, projects, thesis, group activities, or simply to hang out. Aside from I am alone here, it is near to the university where I finished my degree. 

“I will just fix my things and after that, I will fix yours.” I left her in my living room and I grabbed my luggage to my room. 

I looked around and I feel nostalgic. I miss my college friends a little extra today. It’s been a while. I can’t clearly remember if the last time that I went here if the day after my graduation. If I am not mistaken, that is the last time before I flew to Paris. 

It is quite dusty here because I never ask someone to clean this for me. I don’t want to bother manang to clean my condo and I have trust issues so I cannot pay anyone to clean my unit. I will be the one to clean this and that is totally fine with me.

“Inah, I changed my mind. I will fix our things later. Let’s just go to the mall first. I need to buy some things.” I am excited to fix my things earlier but now I feel lazy. 

“Why don’t you ask someone to clean your condo? It’s better that way. You will not be tired and exhausted.” Inah suggested and I immediately refused. I cannot ask someone to clean this if I can.

“No, Inah. Change into something comfortable. We will spend long hours walking and looking around the mall.” 

“Okay. Give me five minutes and I’m off to go.” She said before she left me in the living room.

“I will wait for you outside!” I shouted before I walked outside. 

This day will be definitely long. Maybe we’ll just eat outside because I don’t have the extra energy to do that.

I did not wait for so long because Inah immediately went out. Maybe she just changed her clothes and fix herself for around three minutes. She is just wearing a loose t-shirt and  sweatpants. 

“You did not bring anything with you?” I asked her. 

“Just my cellphone” She showed me. Wow, she did not even bother to bring her card or to bring some cash.

“You did not bring any cash? Or card?” Like wow! I am your sister, not your sugar daddy but I will let it slide. I haven’t treated her out for so long and I am not allowed to do so. 

“You did not tell me and I am with you so I know that you will not allow me to starve there.” What a way to tell me that I am the one who will pay for everything that she will be interested in. 

We walk towards the elevator and Inah is just her usual self. The prim and proper girl who is always silent. She really looks innocent unlike me who has sharp features. 

“Inah, I will buy clothes today,” I told her when the doors of the elevator closed.

“What for?” Oh, I forgot to tell her.

“For the disguise thing! And I decided to cut my hair.” I am not sure if I will really do this but there is no harm in trying. Like maybe it will suit me? Aisht I know it will not but for the sake of my ego I am hoping that it will look good on me.

“You will really cut your hair? But you don’t need to.” She seems to be moved by that decision of mine.

“But I want to.” I don’t want to but it’s the only way that I think is the best. For the reputation of the Quapenco clan and for Inah’s reputation I will do that. And I know that this pregnancy will be a secret until everything is settled in place.

“Are you really sure about this? If it’s because of the guilt trip that I did not intentionally do please don’t.” It’s too late Inah. I know that there is something inside me that really pushes me to do this even though there is a part of me that is against the decisions that I will make, especially regarding my physical appearance. 

“Don’t think about it Inah. You’re stressing yourself too much. Don’t worry about anything. I will handle this.” I hope I can handle this well.

I don’t know why I am in this position right now. I don't know if my decisions were right. I can’t stop myself from thinking that maybe if I told our parents about it right after I found out about the news everything will be in place right now. What if I did not meddle with Inah’s problem? And what if I just ask someone to find that man for me? And what if I did not make this decision on disguising as a man? I am really stupid.