CHAPTER 3

Aniah’s POV

How am I able to find the man with the nickname ABABA? 

Should I ask each student from that University if they know who is that fucking ABABA? This will be hard.

This will be the start of OPERATION FIND MR. ABABA! 

I did not waste my time so I immediately went to Heiberg University and tried my luck.

“Can you please allow me to enter? Can you? Only for a few minutes?” I pleadingly asked the guard. I am standing in front of this gate for maybe about fifteen minutes.

“You’re not a student here madam. You cannot go inside.” I can feel that the guard is getting pissed already, and that’s what I want. Maybe if he gets so pissed or something he will finally allow me. 

“You really can’t go inside, madam. It is against the policy. I will be punished if I will allow you to enter the university. And why do you badly want to go inside Do you have a boyfriend inside?” I want to try to answer yes but there is a big possibility that he will still not allow me. And maybe if I said that he will suggest that I should just call or text him.

“No I don’t have but I need to go inside. I have important matters to discuss with the director.” I will try everything, I will try even the most impossible reason just to get inside. I need this thing to finish. 

“Madam, do you have an appointment? I can see that you do not have one. Do not try to fool me. And if you really have an appointment with the director, call him or call his secretary, and for sure they will inform me to allow you to get in.” Hayst. This guard is witty. It will be hard to fool this one.

“So I can’t really go inside? Even just a tour, I can’t?” Is this university that prestige? 

“No madam. You really cannot go. And no you cannot have a tour inside.” I can sense that this guard is already tired of talking to me but it’s still hard to convince him. 

“So? Do I need to enroll first so that I can go inside?” I asked. I cannot comprehend my thoughts. I hope I will not decide impulsively.

“Madam, mind if I tell you that this is an all-boys university? You are not allowed here, young lady.” I rolled my eyes when he said the word, young lady.

I am slowly getting pissed too. Just one last try and if I will fail again I will already call it a day. For your information, it is very hot here. I don’t know why maybe it’s summer or maybe I am not just used to the weather here but it is so fucking hot right now!

I can feel the sweat on my forehead and I can imagine how stressed looking I am right now. Oh my gosh, this is not me! I did not expect that I will fucking experience this kind of thing, I never thought that I will beg someone just for me to enter this university.

I am aware that my brand is not yet really established here in the Philippines but at this moment there is hope that this guard knew me for who I am, sadly he does not know who am I. 

“You really don’t know me?” This is my last shot. 

“I don’t know you madam. You are not familiar either.” Ouch, maybe I should go home now. This encounter really tested my patience. I did not expect that I will use my last card. And I thought, once I use my last card he will allow me to enter. But then how foolish I am to realize that if he knew me in the first place, he will not be this hard to e.

“Okay, thank you. I will go home for now. I will try my luck next time.” And I will promise to myself that the next time I will go here, I will be allowed to go inside.

“Sure, madam. Try your luck next time madam!” The guard sighed. Maybe I am that stubborn for him to sigh that heavily. Maybe I am really naughty.

I walked toward my car and sighed heavily. This is not a good start.

"Fuck it! How am I able to find that Ababa?! I can't go inside that fucking university. And fudge that guard! It's so hard to please him!" I irritably shouted while driving. Up until I reached our house I was hissing and shouting. I freaking need to think of a way to get inside that university. 

"Iah? What happened to you?" That's how manang, our maid, welcomed me. 

"Arghh my plan did not work out!" I hissed before I started to go upstairs. The secret will stay between me and Inah, nothing will be known about this secret. I don't want to ruin our relationship. 

"Iah, please calm down. You need to calm down. Your mom will be offended and disappointed once she hears you shouting like that." Manang shouted. 

I did not answer. Is it really important to be elegant at all times? I grew up acting like a damn princess, I grew up acting like the prim and proper girl. 

I'm in this situation and they are thinking about the way I talk and speak. I can't control my mouth or my voice. They can't do anything about the way I react to this kind of thing. 

I stopped my track when I heard Inah call me from behind. "How was it?" That smooth and sweet voice, that's my mother's dream. The way she asked me it seems like everything's okay to her. 

"Do I look like I'm okay? Do I look like I succeeded today Inah? Don't talk to me for a while Inah. I am not in the mood." She is used to this side of me. But sometimes she's just too stubborn. 

" Easy. Just chill okay? Mind over emotion, remember?" Fuck! I want to scold her for doing this mess and she is acting as if nothing happened?! I need to find a solution for this mess, I know that our parents will scold me for this even though I am not the one who created this. 

"Hey Aninah Cassandra! Be thankful that I love you so much and I am willing to do anything for you! Put this in your mind Inah! If I get pissed at you, I'm the one who will tell mom and dad about your pregnancy!" Even though I said that I can't do that. 

"Hayst I am sorry okay? You just need to calm down." She hugged me and kissed me on my cheeks. What a way. 

"Hey Inah, you are so obvious! You know that I can't get mad at you! I don't know why I spoiled you way back then!" Why do I need to show them that I am tough even though I am not? 

"No, ate. Your niece needs you. And please don't be so hot-headed, especially when you're with other people. It's embarrassing." 

Wow. Embarrassing really?!

"I am really like this Inah. They can't do anything about this attitude of mine. My mouth doesn't have a filter and I don't care about the words that will get out of my mouth." I said and moved away. 

"Okay okay sure. But, thank you very much. I don't know if I should regret this baby inside me but you told me that this baby is a blessing. This will be your mini me!" She happily said and she even clapped her hands. 

"Mini-me? No, just don't." I fake laughed then I walked away. 

You really don't know what you are saying Inah. You don't know what I have experienced Inah. 

I really want to voice out what I really feel but I can't. How long do I need to keep my feelings for myself? How long do I need to sacrifice for my sake?

When I entered my room I immediately lay on my bed. This day is very frustrating stressing, and tiring. I feel like I used all of my energy and I need to recharge for a moment.

We always have different perceptions, that's why I am afraid to tell my opinion. What if I told my opinion and then they don't like it and they are against it? The thing is that anything that I said is wrong in their opinion. It's never me over anyone. 

Maybe I did have a rough childhood and teenage years. All the memories that I have with my parents are sad. I did not spend much time with my parents. They are so busy. They are also busy during Inah's days but I don't know why their treatment of me is not the same as Inah's. 

Maybe I was a bad child? But as far as I remember I am an obedient kid. Even though there are instances that I am against their decision, I choose to stay quiet because I want to please them. Their decision is my life decision. Every decision is dependent on them, especially my mom. 

They always say that moms know the best for their kids, that moms will always choose the best for you, and that they only think about your sake. I grew up with that mindset and I hope I will not regret that in the future, Though mom did not shower me the same love as she showered Inah, I hope she loves me even in the slightest way possible. 

Let me put aside my personal problems first, Inah needs me and I need to help her. I need to think about a plan, I need to create one. I will not allow the kid to grow up without a dad, that will be definitely hard! I know that Inah can raise this kid alone and of course, I will help her but a daddy is different. 

I need to think of something but my creative juices are not present today when I badly needed them the most. I stood up from my bed and grabbed my MacBook from my bedside table. Things must work out now, my time is very precious.

I searched Heiberg University and like what I expected, Heiberg is very secure. There is no other information that is related to the students on their site. Even the name of professors is not displayed on their site unlike on their universities. I know that it is for safety purposes but at this point in my life, I don’t care about privacy and security. The facilities and events are the things that I found on their site. The students do not have any pictures displayed. 

I need to think deeply. Think. Think. Think.

I lost track of time. I am unaware that it’s already evening. Wow, no one called me for dinner. What is the use of the intercom? And is it hard to go upstairs to tell me that it is time to eat? Maybe they forgot that I am here. They are not used to my presence. I am not hungry anyway.

“If I cannot enter there as Iah maybe I can pretend to be someone else? That’s an all-boys university and only males are allowed to enter. I will disguise myself as a man” I am not convinced about my decision but I think this is the only way. I cannot just announce there and find that Ababa boy. There is a big possibility that the boy will be scared of responsibility especially since he is still studying and he is from one of the prestigious universities here in the country.

“So? What would be my next step after that? I can’t just go there without a plan.” I gazed at my Macbook and thought again. What should I do next?

“I will disguise as a man then I will enroll at Heiberg University, then I will find Mr. Ababa. But before that, I will need fake documents to go inside and study there. Fake birth certificates and such but do I really need to go that far just to find that man? What if I get caught? Then they will bring me to the police then I will be in jail? Shit! No way!” Maybe if someone can hear or see me right now they will think that I am crazy for talking to myself but I think that is totally fine.

“Uhmm I will just finalize my decisions tomorrow. I already have my first step inside my mind and I think that is enough for the meantime. Slowly but surely.” I whispered to myself before closing my Macbook and I went straight to the comfort room so that I can change my clothes and I can clean myself. I will just go with the flow and let things happen. 

And I will disguise as a man? I don’t know if that is exciting but I don’t have a choice now.