It’s been almost two weeks since Lily went to see Joshua. School work has taken a whole lot of her time and walking home wasn’t an option for her because she was already getting so stressed out.

“How many more days till we’re done with the test?” Lily asked when she looked up from the English book she was revising.

Sarah looked at her. “Tomorrow girl” she placed her hand on Lily’s hand “just hold a little while”

Lily laughed “Glad I have you in my life”

“GOD loves you baby” she winked.

Lily stretched a bit and looked around the library, everyone was in their business, she looked back at Sarah and leaned closer a bit.

“Can I ask something?” She asked, and she nodded “This is kind of random but how’s your faith in GOD?”

Sarah frowned a bit then looked at Lily, she dropped her pen on the table.

“Good, it’s good” she shrugged. “Anything?”

“Huh, nothing... I just wanted to be sure we’re on the same page”

Sarah smiled. “Remember, if you have doubts”

“I’ll pray” Lily completed.

“Good, now let's continue studying. Exams aren’t going to write themselves” she encouraged.

Lily would have simply asked her further questions to know if she was wrong for feeling this way. She just needed some validity and the right person to talk to about it came to mind.

***

“Mr. Larry would have simply said, I want you all to fail so don’t bother reading” Sarah complained “Like, why does he have to act the way he does?” She sounded frustrated.

“Sarah, we can’t change people. That’s how he wants to be to people”

“A total nightmare?” She shrieked, eyes wide open like they bare terror “he should limit that to himself, I don’t want to have to deal with this for the rest of the school year” she grumbled “GOD, please take him somewhere far away, please”

“Come on, that’s selfish” Lily tries to reason.

“Well, tell him that. I might as well pull out my hair” she grunted again.

Lily shook her head. She knew Sarah could be dramatic a little bit, but she was right to feel this way. Their science teacher, Mr. Larry loves the terror on all the student's faces when he gives them some tasks.

“It will be good okay, just don’t let this spoil our day, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah” They walked towards the park on the way to Lily’s house. They would have followed Cory who came with Daisy’s car but Lily wanted to walk instead.

Sarah wanted to vent so she followed her.

Lily had forgotten that the park was her and Joshua’s meeting place. Many things had happened over the course of the week and she forgot many things.

As they walked by the bench she and Joshua sat to talk, she heard her name being called by a familiar voice.

Alarmed, she turned to see Joshua waving at her and smiling as he waited for her to come. Sarah who was confused by what she was seeing asked.

“Joshua knows your name?” Sarah asked, a confused look on her face.

“Lily come, I have something to show you” he shouted but she was stuck on what she should do.

If she answers him then Sarah will know she’s talking to the homeless man her mum doesn’t want her talking to and it could get her into trouble if her mum finds out.

She was seeking faith and questions about GOD and as helpful as Joshua would be, he wouldn’t be able to fulfill all her questions. Turning a deaf ear, she grabbed Sarah’s wrist and marched away like she didn’t know him.

He kept calling her but soon stopped when he saw how she ignored him. Joshua felt hurt by her actions but he understood where she stood. She might not have told him she was warned to stay away from him but he knew what was going on.

Letting out a sigh, he turned away from the road and back to what he was doing. Maybe when they see again, he’ll show her what he wants to show her.

***

Lily hadn’t said any word aside greeting her parents when she came back from school with Sarah. She just changed from her school clothes and encouraged them to study in her room.

She wasn’t prepared to face her mum’s scrutinizing gaze. Because anyone who sees her now will see the guilt she has on her face.

Lily’s cheeks were flushing from embarrassment and she kept telling herself over and over that she didn’t deserve a friend like Joshua with how she treated him today.

“GOD, I’m stupid”

“Okay, you need to tell me what’s going on” Sarah spoke out, unable to keep her questions to herself.

Lily looked uncomfortable and when she looked up at Sarah, her eyes held unshed tears.

Saracg could see something was wrong but she isn’t sure what exactly the issue is. “Is it Joshua? Did something happen between you two?” she held Lily’s hand “I’m your best friend, talk to me. Did he do something to you?”

Lily choked back a sob and shook her head. She felt terrible. Her stomach churned as she kept remembering how she acted to Joshua.

“It’s me, Sarah, I am the bad one,” she could feel her throat constricting, and the tears that welled up fell.

Sarah held her hand and moved her hair from her face “Lily, Lily look at me” she instructed and Lily did so “I need you to breathe, try to breathe for me girl. I know you’re feeling so many emotions but I need you to breathe for me, can you do that?”

Lily nodded and took in deep breaths before slowly letting them out as Sarah instructed her.

“Yes, keep it going like that. Deep breaths in, and out, in and out” She pats her back.

Lily was able to breathe properly and she sat on the floor with her eyes closed.

“Want to tell me what is going on? Why did you react the way you did when Joshua called you?” Sarah asked.

Lily felt conflicted about opening up to her. She let out a sigh and held Sarah’s hand in hers.

“Don’t tell anyone”

“Is it bad?”

“Nothing bad at all” she assured her.

“Then what is it?”

“Joshua is my friend. Well, used to be now that I ignored him” She buried her face in her palm “GOD, I feel so bad for how I treated him. H-he’s like my faith buddy. He’s a nice man who just happened to experience life, he has been through a lot with what we talked and he shares with me how deeply rooted his faith in GOD is” Lily cleaned her face.

“Is this what you feel so upset about?”

“Sarah, I have been struggling with my faith in GOD for a long time and I prayed to GOD to bring it alive once more and even better than I was taught, and one afternoon, GOD led me to him and he shared his deep-rooted faith with me and I just somehow connected to him and shared my struggles with him and he told me to pray,” she said all in one breath.

Sarah pats her head. “Easy girl”

“I just don’t want to be judged for being around him and most importantly, I do not want my parents knowing else they might never let me out of the house, might as well home-school me,” Lily said in horror “Now, I ruined any chance I got to have meaningful conversations with him” she cried.

Sarah pats her head continuously before speaking “You did bad by being ashamed to be associated with him but I get you. I would never look down on you and whatever decisions you make. You didn't need to hide this from me”

“I’m sorry”

“I’m the wrong person you should tell this to”

“I need to see him, I will bring him some food and snacks”

“Bribing him?”

“No, it’s our thing”

“Your thing? That sounds nice. Can I meet him also, when you go for your bible study with him?”

Lily grinned “He would love that”

“Sarah smiled “Now, was that so hard to say?”