"Always put in your mind the reasons why we're doing these—helping other people, giving them their needs, and providing everything we can to make their lives be more comfortable... for them." he looked at us one by one and then he nodded.

This is how I see my life—meaningful. Helping other people who are in need is one of the things I like to do. That's really it, isn't it? When you have the means of helping other people, you must help them without expecting in return.

"Ash, let's go home together huh? I'll just get my things." said Gizelle.

This is my fifth month here in this organization. And during those five months, I became closer to other members just like Gizelle.

I nodded to her and went straight to my things to get ready also.

We just finished giving medicines and ready-to-eat foods to people living on the streets. I want to give them a house that they can live with. But I don't have the means to do so. The only thing I can provide is my service, this is the means I have that I was talking about.

I stopped what I was doing when a group came inside the organization. They are loud. And it seems like they are arguing about something. My eyes focused on a man talking to a woman with a serious face. I think I've seen him before but I just can't figure out where and when.

I just shrugged off all the thoughts running in my mind.

I continued fixing my bag when Gizelle bumped my shoulder.

I looked at her and raised my right eyebrow.

"Let's eat first," she said while smiling.

I nodded and took all my things. This is Gizelle's nature. She always asks and invites me to eat before going home. And throughout the months that I am beside her, I get familiar with this kind of actions by her.

"I had planned to save money, but because there are so many delicious foods today, I'm feeling hungry," she stopped talking when I was suddenly bumped into by a hurrying man.

"Come on! Ash, your things are scattered!" Gizelle stated the obvious.

"Miss, I'm sorry." the man apologetically said.

"No, it’s okay. I can manage it," I said when he knelt down to pick up my scattered things. But it was as if I said nothing to him because he continued doing what he was doing.

When he finished, he stood with me and presented me with my things.

He then smiled. "I am very sorry, Miss." I returned his smile but he didn't see it because he was in a hurry to leave. And when I looked at my back, him rather, I saw him on Atlas' office.

"Hmmm, I don't believe in love at first sight because I never felt it before. But looking at my friend right now, I think I'm gonna believe that it happens to other people." she then giggled.

I looked at Gizelle who now had her hand on her chin as if thinking.

I just shook my head at her and left first. I heard her calling me but I ignored her because I knew she was still going to chase me.

When I left the organization, I saw the man I was talking about earlier, who was also looking at me.

I then avoided his gaze when I saw Gizelle approaching. I opened the door and waited for Gizelle. And we left the organization together to eat and go home as what we have planned.

I was looking at my notebook while holding my guitar. I really want to write a song but until now I still don't know what or who I should write a song for.

I'm humming the tone that I want to use in my song when my phone beeped. I saw an unregistered number there. I just let it die.

But my thoughts were interrupted when it rang again. Because of annoyance I just answered it.

"Yes?" I tried my very best not to be rude but I think whatever I do, it will still come naturally.

"Ash, can we meet again? Promise... my fiancée and I had already broken up and I already called our engagement off-" I cut him off.

"Don't you dare call me again. And what happened with us is just a mistake that must be forgotten, it's disgusting." I hung up and then I blocked his number like I used to do.

I've changed my phone number countless times already but he still gets it from whoever it is.

It's been a month since that thing happened. I didn't know that he has a fiancé and when I learned about it, I stopped and tried to do everything I could just to keep myself away from them.

I took a deep breath when I couldn't continue my meditation. I jumped off my bed and got myself a bottle of milk.

I finished drinking it and gathered myself to sleep.

*****

"Ash, how are you doing there? I hope you don't tire yourself too much there. We are not there to take care after you," I smiled when I heard my mother's very soft voice.

"Tell Ash not to stay up all the time," my smile widened when I heard my father's shout on the phone.

"Mom, tell dad that I'm not neglecting myself. Besides, I'm a grown woman now, I can take care of myself," I promised with a smile on my face.

"Well, just make sure, Ash," my mother said.

I looked at my phone when my mother on the other line suddenly went silent. I thought it had died, but it didn't.

"Uhmmm, by the way Ash… maybe I won't be able to send you your allowance for this month, because we still have such bills that needed to be paid,"

I stopped and blinked as the sadness and regret in my mother's voice softened. "It's okay, mom. I still have money for this month and maybe I'll send you money the next day." I blinked away the tears in my eyes and raised my voice.

I don't want my family to think that I'm struggling here. I don't want them to know that I am going through so much pain and disgusting scenarios and jobs... just for me... to survive.