I was losing my breath from how hard I was pushing myself to run, my legs felt like they would give up on me anytime soon, my head hurts so much and felt like it would explode soon, my eye was clouded with tears and my heart was plummeting fast and hard against my chest from the fear that shook me.

It was dark and there weren't any street lights to illuminate the road and funny thing is that I didn't know where I was going, I just wanted to be far away from him.

How did he leave? He was in prison, how was he able to escape from there and... find me? Now he wants to complete the job and have me written off.

Where is my mum? Where are my siblings? Why isn't anyone I know around? Why am I suddenly in this place?

I looked to my left and my right trying to find where I could hide if there is somewhere to hide but I didn't see any.

When my legs couldn't go any further, I stopped so that I could catch my breath and continue running but I feel like my legs wouldn't want to do any running any moment from now because of how shaky and tired they felt.

"I knew you couldn't go anywhere from me, no matter what... I will find you... no matter where you are" I froze when I heard the chilling voice of my dad behind me.

I stood up straight and slowly turned around to see him looking at me sinisterly.

The funny thing was it looked like we were in the courtroom three years ago when he had a gun pointed directly at me ready to end my life.

My eyes widened when the gun went off and instead of Chris getting hit as it happened for real, it came directly to me and I fell backward. It felt like a long fall and I screamed so loud.

"Aargghh!" I sat up from my bed with my body covered in sweat and my heart pounding so fast.

I looked around to see myself in my room and I relaxed a bit then turned to check the time when I heard my bathroom door open and Leo who was in a towel only came out and rushed towards me with worry on his face.

I felt my cheeks go warm because of how he was dressed and how close he was to me.

The fear I felt slowly faded and was replaced with the attraction I felt for this fine man.

I tried my best to understand what he was saying but what I could only think of was his half-naked self on my bed as he asks me questions, I couldn't hear.

What is wrong with me? I should be feeling scared and not let my feelings divert what just happened to me.

Normally I would be feeling so scared whenever I had this dream and would cry myself to sleep but this time around, I woke up to see a fine-looking man just in his towel in my room.

GOD, I need to gauge my feelings and try to focus on something else.

"Are you okay?" he held my face in his and I couldn't help but lean in and connect my lips with his.

It was good but different, a good different I would say... I don't think I remember how it felt like when Leo kissed me mainly because it was a short unexpected one that got me freaked out and I remember running away that day.

This kiss made me feel things, things I never thought I would feel again, things that made my heart full and ready to burst, things that made my eyes want to roll to the back of my head, things that brought warmness to my cheeks and neck and things that I want to feel for a really long time.

I placed my hand at the back of his neck to deepen the kiss while one of his hands went to my waist and the other under my knee, I drew closer to him and sat on his lap with our lips still locked and rubbing the back of his head.

It seem strange because I couldn't feel the braids he had on his head but that didn't make me stop.

Soon, his lips traveled to my right cheek before going down to my neck and a soft pleasant sound escaped my lips.

"Leo" I whispered and he stopped.

Wondering why he stopped, I leaned back to meet with eyes that held something that looks like hurt, sadness, and a tint of anger.

I felt my body go cold, my legs felt weak, my hands shook and my heart was pounding so fast against my ribcage because of the realization of what I had just done.

It wasn't Leo I kissed rather it was Chris.

...

"Oh GOD" I exclaimed yet again for the hundredth time today.

I still haven't gotten over what I did the previous night.

How did I mistake Chris for Leo? How did I imagine a half-naked Leo in my room? How in the world does this imagination mine work? Why couldn't I see that it was Chris all along? Why did it feel good when we were in the act? I am not supposed to have any feelings for that man.

"Still haven't gotten over what happened yet?" Elle asked when she came back from school to see me in my bed the same way she left me when she was heading to school in the morning.

I couldn't go to school today, I was too weak and confused for that. I still haven't figured out what happened yet and the memory has no plans of exiting my mind.

I need to stay sane. I need to.

"I really can't get over it, Elle, like how would I face Leo or Chris? Or the both of them at the same time?" I asked her.

She just shrugged and watched my disturbed self, regretting what I did last.

"How was Chris able to get into my room at that time of the night? How did I let him come into my room?" I asked.

"Was I asleep? Did you let him in? what happened that made him come into my room in the first place?" I asked with so much frustration and screamed into my pillow.

"Well, I really don't know if memory loss is one of your traits, no offense but when I remembered, you let him in," she said and I raised a brow at her.

"Yes, you did and after you and Leo left when Chris came to sit with us, he said he was leaving and when I came back home, you were in tears and in Chris's arms as he brought you back home. He wanted to leave but you invited him to stay over" she shrugged.

"I am just quite surprised that you couldn't remember any of that" she rubbed her chin in thought while I began to get a reminder of what happened when Leo came to talk to me.

... "So..." he began when we went to the school parking lot to talk.

"Soo?" I countered and he chuckled then looked away from me in thought, he chuckled yet again and looked back at me but he the smile he held didn't reach his eyes.

"So... Chris, eh?"

"Amara, eh?" I asked back and he chuckled again then shook his head.

"Do you still like him?"

"Do you still like her?"

"Why are you like this?" he sounded annoyed and the furrow in his brow confirmed it.

"Why are you like that?" I asked annoyed too.

He didn't say anything rather, he just looked at me with that same annoyed look on his face and his hands were resting on his hips before he spoke again.

"Look, I know that there has been a huge gap between us when I left but I never stopped thinking about you, even till this date," he said and somehow the annoyance I felt slowly faded.

"Then why didn't you tell me you had a crazy girlfriend who would go to many extents to get any girl away from you?" I asked what I should have asked for a while now.

"She was my girlfriend and we are in a really dark and difficult stage in our supposed relationship which I hope will be resolved soon but at the moment we are not really together" he explained and my shoulders slouched.

I was really expecting him to say that she was an ex who hasn't gotten over him and what they had in the past and not someone he wants to get back together with.

I feel like I am sounding so selfish but I want him with me.

"So, you love her?" I asked then waited for him to respond to me but he didn't say anything and I could see that he looked conflicted before a sigh left his lips he walked closer to me and then held my face in his soft palms.

"Listen to me Ella, I care so much about you... a lot, I'd do anything for you and protect you if I can but..." he paused for a while and my heart skipped a beat when he said that because I am so sure that what he'll say next will hurt me so much.

"I was in a really dark place in my life three years ago when I felt and when I got there, I was almost depressed but she came into my life and gave me some kind of comfort that made me stand on my feet for this long so even though I want to end things with her, it wouldn't be that easy for me"

I felt a tear slip out of my eyes and rolled down my cheek.

It's not going to be easy for him, or for me, or for anyone in my place or for Chris or for Amara. It's never going to be easy.

"I think that I still feel something for you, I'm not sure but I love Amara and I am hoping that I could fix things between us or..." he swallowed what he was going to say and just let his word hang in the air.

"I hope you understand this and just so you know, I'll be here as your friend just like old times" he whispered the last part then leaned in to plant a kiss on my forehead before moving back and walking away from me... again.

It's never going to be easy for me...

"It's never going to be easy on me" I whispered to myself after the recap of what happened yesterday played in my head and cleaned my face of any tears that stained my cheeks.

"It's not going to be but you'll be fine, there are lots of guys who want to be your lucky guy so just woman up and hold your head high... you've got lots of things ahead of you" my twin patted my back and stood up from my bed to enter her room.

"Lots of things ahead of me" I whispered and properly lay on my bed then closed my eyes hoping to have another memory loss that will take the pain I feel away too.