It’s been a few days after that incident and I have avoided talking about what happened. There’s nothing to say, not after I just acted on how pissed Leo made me for telling me who really, I was. I knew but I didn’t want to be told so.

The truth really hurts. Like a sharp knife piercing your heart to the reality of things you’re afraid of letting it know or believe.

Even at school, I avoided him and made sure that whenever he was coming my way, I would turn around quickly and just take a longer route to where I am going thereby proving him right over and over again.

I am a coward. Yes, I am but I wouldn’t let that make me feel bad, none of this is my fault in the first place. I was just caught in a really messing circumstance at a really young age. That’s just what happened.

I couldn’t even sit down for long hours with my twin to talk because I am scared… no, not scared… I am not scared, I have gone past that… I just don’t want her to ask me about that day and I will have to look for ways to justify my actions towards Leo.

I shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t but yet I did and I feel so ashamed of myself.

Surprisingly, I haven’t even gotten an ill treatment from Amara or any death glares from her when our eyes meet. She hasn’t even confronted me on why I slapped her boyfriend or any of that sort.

Strange. I will still watch my back in case she decides to jump me.

I haven’t had those nightmares in a while and when they come it’s like a ‘once in a blue moon’ timing which is still okay, considering my case but last night it came and it felt more real than it has always felt. 

This time, I believed that something is coming for me, someone rather and its not like before where I didn’t know who the person was and was caught off guard, this time I know who the person is and its scares me of what he would do to me this time.

I don’t even know when this might happen, if at all it ever happens. That’s one of the scariest parts of knowing this.

I sat on my bed after I had gone to take some water to calm myself from that horrible nightmare, my lights were off and my back was leaned on my headboard as I tried to think of the main reasons dad would want me dead. I am his real daughter for CHRIST sake and yet, he prefers to see me dead, especially is he was the one who took me out.

I want to know, I want to know why? What would a child do to him that makes him have such sinister motives towards me? These were questions I needed answers to, I want to know why and maybe I could ask for forgiveness and not get his hate anymore.

I feel conflicted and it’s affecting me in school just like now when I got sent out of class for zoning out almost all through the lecture and not having an idea what was taught today.

All these is getting to me and I don’t want to bother my mum with my problems but not telling her and it happening would give her much to worry about and it makes me sad.

I went to sit on the pavements in the parking lot as I wait for the first class to end so that I can go get lunch with my twin and Chris. Chris is the only one I can talk or move with freely now because he has no intentions on asking me what happened that day which I am grateful for.

I took out my phone to check the time and saw that there was still about thirty minutes before class was done so, I opened my bag to take the novel I put there before leaving for school. Glad it came out handy after all.

I opened the first page to read the table of content before looking at the back to read what the book entails. I nod my head because what I was seeing seems interesting which I hope it is. Back to reading it is.

As I was going to start with Prologue, I heard footsteps coming from behind me and tensed, the hair behind my neck stood up and I immediately stood to my feet and turned around fast to see who that was.

Everything was hazy due to how fast I stood and turned around, I had to lean on a car to prevent myself from falling no my butt and embarrassing myself in front of the silhouette I cant properly see.

“You shouldn’t stand up that fast” the feminine voice said as she walked closer to me before settling on the spot I was seated at.

The blurry figure I saw earlier got clearer and who I saw was the last person I ever want to talk to.

“It can mess with your head sometimes” she smiles up at me and I just had this static frown and confused look on my face.

I didn’t know my novel had fallen off my hold not until she picked it up and read the title out loud “Finding Myself” she chuckled then placed the book beside her and looks at me again. “I am not an evil person so, cut the crap and just sit.” she spoke when I kept standing there and looking at her.

I shook my head and blinked several times to be sure she was the one I am seeing sitting there, smiling nicely in my direction. Slowly I came to sit beside her but I put a good distance between us then took my novel and put it inside my bag.

We didn’t say anything for like two minutes before she spoke up.

“I am a really nice person” she started and I looked at her from the corner of my eyes “You just have to get to know me better” she completes and this time I turned till we were facing each other.