I can't say if it is the fact that I have my period today or the fact that I have lost interest in makeup artistry that I had to decline appointments by my regular customers and refer them to someone else.

I would go for the first because this period is killing my waist.

Nah, you have really lost interest in makeup that is why.

I could hear my subconscious tell me and I shook my head in disagreement and stuck with my first assumption.

I couldn’t have lost interest in makeup that soon, right? Like it has been over three months since I started it and the highest I have been on a skill is five… six months? I can't remember but I just cant lose interest that quick.

I am blaming my period for this.

Okay, let's say I have actually lost interest in makeup, what do I learn next?

I rubbed my chin with my index and thumb as I look at my green jacket that was hung on my door while I think of what the next step was.

Beads? Nah… something different.

Wigs? Hmm… could make some for Jenny so she stops using those bad extensions to oppress me like she always does… Nah, don’t think that would be necessary and it was mean of me to have thought about it.

Now, what is it that I could pos-

“Ouch!” I exclaimed in pain as I clutch my lower abdomen with my face going in line to express the intense pain I am feeling and I came down from my bed so I could find a comfortable spot on the floor.

“What girls go through all because blood needed to get out of us” I muttered and lay my back on the floor while my legs were on the bed.

Seems weird but I am so comfortable in this position and now back to what I was telling myself before I was attacked by thi-

“Ah! Oh GOD,” I rolled to my side with my palms flattened on my lower abdomen.

Cant this pain be less painful? Why do we have to suffer this torture because we bleed? Why?

I could already feel a headache growing at the side of my head. Ridiculous, my cravings are increasing as I grow older even I started getting irritated by little things and some food.

Sometimes I just want to be alone and other times I need to be pampered and some other times I want to be left alone and pampered at the same time.

Crazy urges!

I am just not happy that I had to take a sick day from school when I saw my period last night. I remembered looking at my underwear in fear and dismay because I wasn’t expecting her till the end of next week but here she is, letting me know she can come and go whenever she wants.

If only I could see this pain and retu-
“Andrea, how are you doing?” I heard the voice of my dad say and I managed to lay on my stomach so I could look at him standing by my door frame with his arms crossed.

“As you can see dad. He/she/it decided that this month was the right month to torment for the next few days” I said and rested the side of my head on the floor as I tried to hold my breath with the hope that it reduces the pain.

Oh… it does.

Slowly I let go of the breath and the pain continues… it is even more painful, oh GOD.

“Did you take the ginger tea I made for you before leaving for work?” he asked then came to lift me up so I was sitting down with my back to my bed.

He sat beside me and looked at me with a little furrow on his brow.

“There is ginger tea?” I asked with my brows raised.

“Yeah, I told you this morning when you were hungrily munching on those sweets Bamrik brought in the other day,” he said and I frowned then tried to think of when he to- oh!

I do remember now.

“Do you think Bam would be mad that you almost finished her sweets?”

I shook my head.

“I doubt,” I shrugged.

“She’ll understand right?” he asked and I nod my head.

We stayed silent for a moment before he spoke out.

“Your mum told me that you are slowly losing interest in makeup now…” he turned to me and I looked at him too.

“So, what’s the new catch?” he asked and I let out a defeated sigh then bow my head because I really can’t explain why this is happening or what this ‘new catch’ is.

“I don’t know dad” I answered him and he sighed this time but didn’t say anything.

I looked up and turned my head to look at him and was about to ask what was up because he will always have something to say to me as some kind of encouragement when I do feel stuck like I am presently.

When I was going to voice out what was at the tip of my tongue, he stood up and I frowned at that.

“Let me get your tea to ease that tormentor” he explained obviously seeing the look I had on my face.

I nod and watched him leave my room then looked down at my fingers as I play with them and wait for him at the same time.

I really didn’t have an answer to what he asked me because I was having that discussion before this ‘tormentor’ like I and my dad like to call my period, interrupted and my dad too.

I would love to settle with something and not get bored of it within months of growing in that field and be… you know, better at it and a 'pro' if possible.

That would be cool though, I think I just need to focus on certain things and not let my mind be occupied with other things when I find something I think I want to do.

Soon, my dad was back with the tea he said he was bringing for me and a plate of rice with sauce. There were two spoons there and I know it's for both of us.

“Thank you, dad” I took the tea and sipped on the hot-warm sensation then nod my head as I felt some kind of relief in my lower abdomen.

“Better?” he asked and I nod my head and then took more sips.

“Much better” I replied and he started eating, soon after I joined him.

We didn’t say much as we ate and aside from when I asked if mum was back already to which he replied ‘no’ and just the clanging of the spoon against the plate could be heard in my room.

When we were almost done with the food, he paused and sighed before speaking up.

“I know it might seem confusing and… frustrating to be in this kind of situation” after putting the rice I scooped in my mouth, I dropped the spoon and chewed slowly as I listened to what he was saying.

“I have never been in such a state before so I can't say I know how you feel but I know it will be really confusing and brain-numbing for you… but there is something I want you to know” he looked at me then smiled.

“Don’t be angry that you can't seem to find out what you want to do or be angry that you like one thing now and want another tomorrow… life is a gradual process that needs to be taken with baby steps, especially when you find out you are in this state” he said and although I was confused I want him to continue.

“Some people can figure it out easily, the first few years of their life they already know what they want and how to get what they want, some might take a bit more time while for others…” he smiled again then continued.

“It would look like they don’t know what they want to do with their life or if their life has any form of direction or anything but I want you to understand one thing… don’t be hard on yourself, you will figure it out, just take your time,” he said and I nod my head.

“I know you will get it soon… I don’t know how soon but I am sure you will get it soon” he told me and that brought a smile to my face.

“Thank you, dad” I hugged him and he pats my head.

“Anytime dear” he whispered.

I remember mum talking to me too about this and now him… I am just glad that I have them to lay on when I don’t seem to know what to do.