“Besides, you haven’t told me his name yet. We would have easily found him if you did.”
Those were the questions I had wanted to ask her for quite some time now.
“I-it’s because…” She was not able to finish her sentence when she began bawling. With a snap of a finger, suddenly, her position changed. I was now carrying her in my arm so I could clearly see her cute little face. Her nose and her cheeks were now red. The sight weakened my heart. I wiped her tears right away with my free hand.
“Hush now, sweetheart. You don’t have to tell me if it hurts you,” I whispered. “I’m sorry. I won’t ask things like that again. I don’t want to see you hurt. It’s heartbreaking. You don’t have to tell me anything even your Dad’s name. You are a bright kid so I believe you have a reason for not saying it. If you are certain that you can recognize him once you see him, then it’s all good.”
Instead of answering, Ali embraced me so tightly while sniffling. “Can I call you ‘Daddy’ just for today?”
My heart thumped. “Go ahead, let me hear you say it.”
“Daddy…”
I don’t know why but my eyes suddenly watered. That… sounded so nice coming from her lips. I feel both happy and sad for reasons I don’t understand.
“Can you say it again please?”
Ali cried once more. “Daddy… Daddy… Daddy,” she said over and over.
What was this feeling? Why am I like this? Before I knew it, my arms moved on their own to embrace Ali. I closed my eyes while I was patting her back to comfort her. I stopped walking when she embraced me back. She was crying her heart out.
“I… I’m sorry for crying, Daddy.”
I felt like there was a huge lump on my throat when I spoke. “No, don’t be. Just cry some more until you feel better.”
“I love you, Daddy, you know. I really love you so much.”
“And I do, too, kiddo. I love you. I never thought I would, though. I hope we find your Daddy soon.”
“And I hope your heart heals from all the things that are hurting you, Daddy. I hope you will be fine soon.”
I kissed her forehead. “Thank you, kid. I hope so, too.”
I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, we were now at the beach. I did it to distract her. Despite the snow, we were still able to keep all of our beaches in their natural state. The water there never turned into an ice. It was nice to swim there because the water was not cold. It was actually lukewarm.
Ali was not crying anymore when she asked me to put her down. She readily run towards the water and splashed me with water. She was now smiling. I’m glad.
“Come here, Daddy!”
I indulged her and went to the water to play with her. Minutes later and the kid was now laughing. For the past hours, all we did was chase the waves, play with them, and laugh together until we both ran out of breath.
We were both panting when we went to the shore and lay on the sand. The kid followed me and laid beside me.
“Ali?” I called her in a low voice while staring at the sky. Was the sky always this beautiful? Or was it only today because I was enjoying myself so much?
“Yes, Daddy?”
Wow, it looks like she had gotten used to calling me that way in such a short amount of time. I liked it, though. I cleared my throat. “Under a different circumstance, if you hadn’t met your father and if you were to choose, despite everything that I told you about me, would you… would you have wanted someone like me to be your father?”
“I would have loved that so much,” Ali said while her eyes were closed. A sweet smile curved her lips. “How about you, Daddy? Would you have wanted someone like me to be your daughter even if I’m not a pure Armethian? Even if according to you, I’m the most talkative and the most tenacious kid you have ever met? Even if I bother you a lot?”
I smiled back. For the first time, I found my heart… warm and contented. “I would have wanted to be your father with all my heart, kid, even if you’re stubborn and talkative. And just to be clear, you are not a bother to me. Meeting you was one of the loveliest things that ever happened to me, Ali. And if my fiancée was hoping that we would have a child like me, I was hoping for the opposite. I’m hoping to have a child like you. Every father would be lucky to have you as their daughter, Ali.”
I remember the past two weeks that we’ve spent together. The days passed by so quickly. But there was never a moment that I felt bored.
Ali entertained me with her stories that never seemed to end. Those stories were about her adventures with her mother, about what she did for the past nine years, about her best friend, and even about her pet dog. I didn’t know why it seemed like it was so important for her to let me know the things that her father should know first. Nevertheless, I was overwhelmed and happy at the same time. For the first time, I could identify happiness so clearly.
That’s why I know that once this journey was over, I would certainly miss Ali’s presence. I would surely yearn for her voice. I can only hope that wherever her father was, he knew how lucky he was for having a daughter as kind and as brave as Ali who even went to such great lengths to search for him in a foreign kingdom without knowing anyone.
“Thank you, Daddy. I really appreciate that. You have no idea how much that means to me.”