"Sandra? What's the problem?"
Jana asked Sandra when she got home to their unit. Sandra was crying.
“Sandra? Why are you crying?”
Jana went to her side. "Did something happen?"
Sandra shook her head. “It's Dylan. We've broken up. We're no longer together. I broke up with him." Another batch of tears fell from her eyes.
Sandra felt like her heart was getting stabbed with a needle a million times while she was trying to recall everything that happened earlier.
Sandra was crying non-stop since Jude drove her home.
“Wait? What? What the hell happened, Sandra? Why did you suddenly break up? I thought Dylan was still in Sagada?"
Jana asked her, confusion written on her face.
"He was already here in the metro. I saw him at the mall earlier. I saw how that woman kissed him. I saw it with my own two eyes, Jana."
Everything was clear to her. How that woman hugged and kissed Dylan. It was a scene that shattered her heart.
“Sandra, are you sure that it was really Dylan? What if you're just mistaken? He told you this morning that he's still in Sagada, right?"
Sandra shut her eyes to stop her tears from falling.
“It was him… Jana! Before I went home, we met in the parking lot. I can't believe he lied to me. He told me he was still on his medical mission, but he was already back. He purposely didn't tell me because he was with his other woman… or maybe I was the other woman in his life."
Jana's lips parted as if she couldn't believe everything she had said.
“I can't believe that Dylan could do that to you. He seems very much in love with you, Sandra. God. He's a good-for-nothing bastard! That asshole. I thought he was different from any other men out there."
"I thought so, too, Jana. I thought he was already the right man for me. But I was wrong. Completely wrong."
Sandra smiled bitterly at herself. She promised herself that no man could ever hurt her again. But look at what happened now? Her heart was broken again. And this time, her heart was already irreparable.
Sandra thought that she had already experienced the worst kind of pain with her ex-boyfriends. But those pains were nothing compared to what she was feeling right now.
This one was a very different kind of pain. This pain not only shattered her heart, but it also broke her soul.
Jana sighed and held both of her shoulders.
“Did you two talk? What did he tell you when you saw each other in the parking lot?"
She closed her eyes before she recalled what happened.
“Why didn't you confront him, Sandra?” Jana asked her, her brows furrowed. "You should have asked him directly."
Sandra smiled bitterly. "What's the use of it, Jana? I was clear with what I saw. I love him but I'm not a fool."
“No… Sandra.” Jana continuously shook her head.
“What you did was not right. You should have confronted him first. What if there's an explanation for everything that you saw? What if he's not really cheating on you? What if you're wrong, Sandra? What if—"
"What if he's really cheating on me?" she stopped her. "I couldn't handle hearing it straight from Dylan, Jana."
Sandra knew how badly she wanted to confront Dylan earlier. She wanted to inform him how much she got hurt by what she saw. She badly wanted to know who that woman was in his life.
But Sandra didn't do it. Because she was scared. She was scared to find out the truth. She was scared to hear straight from him that there was another woman in his life.
Her heart wouldn't be able to handle it.
Jana sighed.
"Do you know what's the biggest mistake you've made, Sandra? It's when you decided to use another man to break up with him. Didn't you realize that you've also lied to Dylan?"
Jana shook her head disappointingly.
"You shouldn't have done that, Sandra. Even if Dylan really did cheat on you, you also became unfair to him. You should have just told him the truth."
Instead of answering, Sandra remained silent. Her tears won't stop falling.
Jana is right. Everything she said made sense.
Sandra shouldn't have used Jude to break up with Dylan.
But she couldn't blame herself. She acted on impulse. She was hurt. Her heart was shattered and she couldn't think straight.
Besides, she didn't want to look pitiful in front of Dylan. Even if he broke her heart, at least she was able to save her pride.
It was a defense mechanism on her part.
God knew how much she loves Dylan. God knew how much she wanted to be with him.
She never wanted to break up with him. But she would get hurt more if she didn't end things with him.
Before he break things up with her, she already did it.

“MA'AM, can I have your order?”
From the menu she was holding, her eyes went up to the waiter in front of her.
“Chicken Teriyaki and a glass of pineapple juice.”
After saying her order, she was left alone at her table.
She sighed and with sad eyes, she looked at the glass window of the restaurant.
It was three days now after she ended everything with Dylan.
The pain was still fresh to her. She bit her lower lip when she felt the tears in the corner of her eyes. Three days had passed but her eyes hasn't run out of tears.
The past few days, all she ever did was cry her heart out. If not only for Jana who reminded her that she has worked, she wouldn't have left her unit.
"This is not the end of the world, Sandra."
"This is different, Jana."
Sandra tried to continue with her life. She tried to pretend that everything was fine. But Sandra realized that she couldn't fool herself.