“LET'S break up, Sandra.”
Sandra felt like her heart stopped beating for a moment with what she just heard from Jude.
She put down the fork and knife on the table and, with her eyes now misty with tears, she stared at her boyfriend.
“J-jude, I don't understand.” She reached out for his hand on the table. “W-why are you breaking up with me?”
“I'm sorry, Sandra...”
“What went wrong? Did I do something wrong? Tell me, please!”
“It wasn't your fault, Sandra. It was mine.”
She bit her lower lip and shut her eyes. She felt the corner of her eyes heating up. Damn. She must not cry here.
"What… Your fault? What did you do?"
Jude and she had already been in a relationship for more than a year. Their relationship as a couple was smooth sailing. That's why she couldn't understand why he was breaking up with her.
Jude sighed and avoided her gaze. “I'm sorry, Sandra… I didn't want to hurt you.”
"You're already hurting, Jude," she said, her voice in pain. "Tell me, do you have another woman?"
He shook his head. “No, Sandra.” His eyes went back to her after saying that. "I can't do that to you."
She intently looked at him, her eyes filled with questions. She knew he was telling the truth. It's not in his character to cheat. He was too good to do that kind of thing.
In fact, during their one-year relationship, Jude and her never fought even once. He was always patient with her. Well, he was a very kind man. That's what she loves about him the most.
“Then, what Jude?” She swallowed the lump in her throat. She couldn't think of any reason why he was trying to end their relationship.
“I can't love you anymore, Sandra...” He gently caressed her palm. As if trying to calm her down.
“Not anymore when I decided to go to seminary.”
"W-what?" Her jaw dropped. Even her tears stopped falling. Did she hear it right? “Are you kidding me, Jude? You, going to the seminary?” She couldn't help but raise her voice.
“I'm not joking, Sandra,” he answered in a serious but calm tone. Jude… she couldn't remember the time he raised his voice at her.
“I wanted to go to the seminary. I wanted to serve our God.”
“But… but what about your job?”
Jude was an architect at the construction firm his family owns. He was renowned in his chosen career. How could he leave his job just to enter the seminary? That's just absurd! “What about your career?”
“I don't have a choice but to leave it, Sandra.”
She shook her head. Still in denial. "No. This is only a prank, right? I mean, you can't really do that, Jude!"
"I'm so sorry, Sandra, but I'm serious."
He stared at his face. She looked serious as hell. There was no hint of playfulness in his eyes. Then… he really was telling the truth.
“I'm sorry, Sandra...” he apologized in a sincere voice. “I love you… but I realized I would be happier if I got to serve God. I couldn't make you happy if my love for you is only half-hearted.
This time, her tears finally escaped her eyes. She took her hand from him and hastily wiped her face.
“Sandra, I'm so sorry. Please, don't cry...”
"How do you expect me to react, Jude? You've hurt me!"
"Please, don't make this harder for me. I hate to see you like this, Sandra."
Before his hand could reach her face, she had already avoided his touch.
She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. "Fine. We're over. I can't stop you, Jude. I have no right to stop if that's what you really want." She answered bitterly.
"I hope you can understand me, Sandra."
She wanted to understand him, but she couldn't do it now that she was hurting badly.
Her heart was aching. She wanted to curse him, to shout, anything to release her anger. She would've preferred it if Jude cheated on her. At least she has the right to curse at him.
Now, she was hurting, but she felt like she had no right to get mad at him.
“Sandra… I'm really so—”
“Stop apologizing, Jude,” she stopped him. “Your 'sorry' couldn't take away the pain.” She picked up the glass of water in front of her. She wanted to splash on his gorgeous face. But she stopped herself.
She inhaled a sharp breath and stood up. "Good bye, Jude. Don't follow me." she warned him.
While walking to the exit of the restaurant, she simply wiped away the tears on her face. She wasn't bothered by the curious looks everyone was giving her. She was used to it, anyway. She was used to this kind of scene.
“Sandra… come on. I'll take you home.”
She was already outside of the restaurant when Jude caught up with her.
For the last time, she turned and looked at him. “No, Jude. Please, stop it. Do me a favor and don't show yourself to me again."
One thing she liked about Jude was his chivalry. He was a gentleman. But this time, she wanted to hate the man for being too good to her. She hurriedly entered the taxi that stopped in front of her.
“Let me guess, ma'am. You just broke up with your boyfriend, didn't you?” The driver of the taxi looked at her with a concerned face.
Instead of answering, she just sobbed.
“I hope you stop crying, ma'am. You're beautiful. There are still many guys that will come into your life."
She looked at him and laughed sarcastically. “That's the problem, sir. Every man that comes into my life only ends up hurting me."
She had an overall count of five ex-boyfriends, including Jude. All of her five ex-boyfriends broke her heart and left her crying.
She was eighteen years old when she had her first boyfriend. His name was Vince. Her relationship with Vince lasted a year. He broke up with her when he went to the States for his masters. He told her they should just break up because he didn't want a long-distance relationship.
"I'm sorry, Sandra. We can't continue our relationship. I'm going to the States."
It was her first heartbreak.
She was mending her first broken heart when she met Trey, who eventually became her second boyfriend. He helped her forget her first heartbreak — but unfortunately, Trey also broke her heart after six months of being together. He broke up with her after admitting that he was gay.
"I'm sorry, Sandra. We can't be together. The truth is, I'm attracted to other men. I've been hiding my real identity for years now."
Then the cycle goes on and on. After Trey, Jake became her boyfriend. Their relationship lasted for eight months. He broke up with her because he said he couldn't be distracted by his work. That asshole thinks their relationship was just a big distraction to his career.
"I'm sorry, Sandra. I have to let you go because. I realized I need to focus on my career."
After Jake, she met Wayne. The man became her boyfriend for five months. Wayne broke her heart because, according to him, he found their relationship boring.
"I'm sorry, Sandra. This relationship is going nowhere. I wanted something else and you made it clear that you can't give it to me."
Then came Jude. He was her longest relationship. They were together for almost one and a half years.
He was everything he could ask for in a man. Respectful, kind, responsible and very patient.
Now she understood why she seemed like an angel. The man wanted to be God's disciple. A sob escaped her when she remembered how he broke her heart.
“Ma'am… are you okay?” The driver looked at her from the rear view mirror.
“Sir? Do you think I look okay? I just got dumped by my boyfriend. My heart hurts so much!” She cried harder. “Why are you men like that? You’re really good at breaking hearts.”
“I beg to disagree, Ma'am. Not all men are heartbreakers.”
She sniffed as her eyes went to the driver. “Why did you say that? Have you never hurt a woman in your life?”
"I've only ever loved one woman in my life. Never once did I hurt my wife. I love that woman so much. She's my life.”
“Your wife must be so lucky to have you...” She managed to say that despite the tears in her eyes.
“No, ma'am. It’s me who’s lucky to have her in my life.”
What the driver said only made her cry more. The man awkwardly scratched the back of his head. “I’m sorry, Ma'am. Here's a tissue..”
“Thank you.” She took the box of tissue from him.
“You can drop me off here,” she said when they arrived in front of the condominium building where he lives. She took a five hundred peso bill from her wallet and handed it to him. “Keep the change, Sir. Buy your wife some flowers.”
“Thank you, Miss. I hope this will be the last time you cry over a guy.”
Despite her swollen eyes, she managed to give the old man a small smile.