I really contributed a lot to my family. Whatever I do to show them nicely they still don't notice it but when I make a fool of myself, they are immediately there to scold me and make me feel like I'm worthless. I don't know what to do anymore, I can't even carry how I feel. Sometimes I even think of ending my life because I'm so tired. I'm tired of living like this.
"I don't know what to do, Sahig. I don't know how I should feel," I said to break the silence between the two of us.
"I hope to reduce the weight that you feel is not good that we have anger or hatred in our hearts because we are also the ones who will suffer in the end," he said gently.
"Why are we still poor?" I asked him.
"Because there may be times when everything should be in order but we are the ones who avoid, we are the ones who stay away," he replied.
"I can't understand them anymore, Eigneia, that's why I'm like this because I want them to notice me. I want them to turn their attention to me even though I know they're moving on my sister. I'm willing to be covering holes , eh, I would have agreed to what they wanted if they just didn't focus their attention on my mistakes. " The tears flowed again.
I could feel Sahig's shock at what I said. I also knew he didn’t expect me to open up to him. I feel relieved when it comes out but it’s weird right now it’s like doubling the weight loss, maybe because someone is listening to me and trying to understand me.
"Is my man really bad?" I asked again.
"Yes," he answered directly so I got up to lean on his shoulder. He laughed at what I did and maybe at the way I looked.
"Yes, you are bad because you do things that are not good. Yes, you are bad in my eyes when you break my glass and continue to tease me. How can the others you have built and the people who see things "You're doing it without knowing you're just seeking attention. And without knowing the story of your life, make sure we really notice evil in you," he explained slowly.
I looked away because I knew in my heart that what he said had struck me. Am I really that kind of person? But why him? Why does he seem so quick to forgive me in the back of everything I did to him?
"Floor, why are you still like this to me even though I've done so much to you that wasn't good? Why are you still helping me despite all that?" I asked frowning.
Unexpectedly he laughed and shrugged.
"If you only knew how much I want to hurt you and retaliate. You don't really like another one, this is our task because they found out that we are warming up with blood so, the faculty requested that we will be partnered to do your thesis or I must say our thesis but it is for your own good and as a requirement for you to be graduated. I'm laughing at you because you followed my suggestion, I know you can relate to that. " He even laughed out loud when he said that. Seems like he meant to suggest that just because of what I do and the behavior I have.
"Hmm. Then the first day I was really annoyed with you because of what you did to me and it seemed like an insult to me but ... but when I started hurting you, I gradually saw a Maro and there is a part in your question that can really show the relationship with your personality. That time, I know that you are not the Maro when you are infront of us. The real Maro is fragile and in just one tap you will be broken. "
I looked at him seriously. "Maro, you're upset about you and your parents, aren't you?" he asked and I nodded.
"Maro, you're lucky because you still have parents. Whatever your problem is, I hope you can fix it and don't prolong it. Like I said before, it's hard to wrap our chests with hatred and anger. As long as we can. Talk to them, talk to them, try to talk to them deeply and vent all your anger and resentment on them in case something changes. Nothing will be lost if you try something. "
He was very positive to think. Hope everyone is positive, hope everyone is like him. Because of what he said I came up with a decision. He’s right, I shouldn’t be sending out anger or hatred. He is right, if I have a grudge or anger I should tell it to Mom and Dad because even I also know that there is something wrong with myself and there is a reason why I have done all the bad things.
I hugged Eigniea. Only now did I feel comfortable. Only now have I been able to vent my resentment and ask someone and unexpectedly the person I still hate and bully at school. I never tell my part to anybody, even to my friends but I know they feel it.
I even laughed at his reaction when I left hugging him, he was like a statue that was shocked and could no longer sit still in the seat.
"Thanks to you, Floor." Only then did he realize. He just nodded, still traces of shock because of what I did. We lasted a few more minutes and he greeted what I was doing while I greeted him with his foot. It’s just funny because we both get along well and sometimes put up with the painful feeling.
"Heal the wound on your lip so that you slapped the woman and bit her lip," he teased. I just laughed because I forgot that I had a wound because of Dad's punch.
Tomorrow in spare time we will continue evaluating the survey and doing the rest of the chapter as well as editing some grammar.
I told him what had happened and told him my plan when I got home. Until we decided to go home, I wanted to take him but he refused because his house was close to the road. He walked slowly even though his gait was lame. It looked at me and waved. He smiled at me and then gave me an okay sign. I stared at him until he disappeared from my sight before finally getting on the motor.