“I was sleeping peacefully. Nandana fed me and literally made me sleep like a baby. It’s truly said, women have so many shades. Sometimes they love you like a lover or wife and sometimes they take care of you like a mother. I bought this bungalow when I was 20. Till 18 years old I spent my life in Panchgani. After my parent’s death, I wanted to stay away from our Mumbai house because there I couldn’t escape from their memories. Every room and every corner of that house used to remind me of my Mom and Dad’s memories. That’s why I told Abhiroop uncle to admit me to a boarding school in Panchgani. He arranged it and I started living here. This place gave me peace, friends and solitude to think about myself. I still remember how I made a gang in my school. Aarav, Aryan, Arjun, Aabir and me. We were famous as notorious five. Actually, we all had our bitter past and maybe that brought us together. Usually, we didn’t bully the other students but we didn’t allow anyone to bully us either. If it happened then those didn’t get a second chance to stay in the school. I can still remember how Aarav trapped our class monitor in the staff bathroom and made up a story that he is a voyeur. He stealthily watches female teachers in the bathroom. We were just 14 years old but, in our minds, we were much more mature. Our dark and bitter past made us like this. Aarav and Aabir were brothers. After I left the boarding school, both of them shifted to the US. Aryan was in boarding for another year and after that, he moved somewhere. Nobody knows where did he go? I tried a lot to find him out but he vanished like camphor. And Arjun…well we lost him before I left my school and returned to Mumbai. It was an accident and we lost one notorious of us. Perhaps that was the reason we eventually parted away. That school used to remind us about Arjun and we wanted to escape from reality. After coming back to Mumbai, I started taking responsibility for our business. For a few months, I tried to keep a connection with Aarav, Aabir and Aryan but gradually, I got lost in my work and education. They faded away from my life. Sometimes life is so ruthlessly realistic. Time decides priorities and life decides our destiny. However, Panchgani never faded away from my memory and life. Because of that, I bought this bungalow. I had the plan to make a resort but my political career didn’t allow me to materialise this plan. But whenever I used to seek peace and solitude, I used to come over here. In this place, I can find myself. I sold out our previous house where I used to live with Dad and Mom and bought the bungalow where now I am living. There were many musical instruments in the old house. Most of them were my Mom’s. However, they were hampering my mental peace. I wanted to discard them. But I couldn’t destroy them. Abhiroop uncle suggested shifting all of them here. I have made a separate room for my Mom’s musical memories. However, my caretaker is strictly instructed to lock the room when I visit here. The reason is obvious. Her musical memories give me pain and nightmare. It’s like I can’t get over them, nor do I live with them. My sleep got disturbed. Someone is playing the sitar. I saw a car speeding on a deserted road. A boy yelled, “Dad...slow down...It's scary." A female voice pleaded, “Do something. We can't die like this." A man panted out, “Jump off the car… GO....OO…." I jerk to break the nightmare. I am panting. I am sweating. The sitar tune is still hammering in my head. I get down from the bed with a jolt and stagger towards the door.”

........................

“I was sunk into the music. After a long time, the sitar strings came to life under my agile fingertips. Suddenly the closed door slammed open making me startled in shock. Aditya barged into and screamed in a high pitch, “STOP IT…..How dare you enter this room?”

Nandana remains motionless for some moments. Her timid eyes are fixed on Aditya’s furious orbs. Aditya comes near with a hostile pace and again spits out,

“Can’t you mind your own business? Who gave you the key? Mahesh….Mahesh”

He calls the caretaker in his highest pitch.

“He doesn’t give me any key. This room was unlocked. I was searching for a place to arrange my small temple. I just came inside and saw these musical instruments. What happened? What sin did I do by entering this room that annoyed you so much? It’s just a sitar and if its tune has broken your peaceful sleep then I am sorry. I didn’t realise that the music could reach so far.”

Nandana gets up from the floor bed and nears him while expressing her exasperation and surprise. Aditya looks at the sitar and mumbles under his breath,

“Its music can reach my nightmare too.”

Meanwhile, Mahesh enters the room. His face is pale and tensed. It specifies how much he fears Aditya's anger. Aditya chides,

“Didn’t I tell you to keep this room always locked?”

Mahesh bobs his head. Fright is evident in his eyes.

“THEN HOW DID SHE COME INSIDE?”

Aditya screams to his highest pitch. Mahesh flinches back.

“I…I…”

He starts stammering. Aditya walks at him hostilely. Nandana stops him by grabbing his forearm,

“Aditya, stop it. Why are you making this trivial issue such a big matter? Okay, I am apologizing to you. I entered and I touched your things without your permission. My mistake. Please let him go. It’s nothing but a miscommunication. Mahesh, you go. Make some coffee for us. Go.”

Nandana tries to cover Mahesh from Aditya’s anger and gestures for him to leave. Mahesh retrieves and lastly almost runs away from the room. Aditya is still fuming while standing keeping his hands entangled behind his head. It seems that he is having a headache. Nandana nears him with a worried face.

“Aditya, are you fine? You were sleeping. I am so sorry I disturbed your sleep. Actually, I was getting bored and thought to find a place…”

She mouths sheepishly.

“Please come with me. I need you.”

Aditya utters determinedly and looks into her eyes. His eyes have an unknown emotion that Nandana fails to fathom. She repeats with hesitation,

“Need…me..!”

Suddenly Aditya grabs her hand and pulls her to exit the room. Nandana gets startled by this behaviour but she follows him without any further questions. But the line, ‘ I need you’ spreads a discomfort in her mind. She remembers what Dr Sahani told her,

“Try to keep him happy. If he demands…I mean any private moment with you…don’t deny. A wife’s love can heal a person’s wound much more effectively than any medicine.”

‘Private moment! Does that mean he needs me for…”

She thinks over the line and feels awkward. Whatever the situation is, she can’t take this step. It will complicate the whole thing more. Aditya pulls her inside the room and slams the door behind them.

...........................

“As the door gets closed with a click sound, my heart starts palpitating. Aditya approaches me with a slow gait. I try to measure his eyes but they have no specific feeling. Unknowingly I take a back step. He again lessens the distance and I keep repeating my retrieval until I touch the edge of the bed and sit on it with a thud by losing my balance. He still continues his slow gait and eventually comes so close to me that I can feel his body warmth. My every pore shivers with voracious desire. I slap my disobedient mind inwardly. Aditya leans forward and again husks out.”

“I need you, Angel.”

His hot breath fans Nandana’s face. She feigns to be steady, however, her shaky voice and palpating heart fail to hide her actual condition. Her heart and mind are in a feud and she is in a dilemma to choose between them. As a result, she chooses the easiest path. She shuts her eyes and keeps waiting for Aditya’s next step. However, after a long silence, neither she hears him further nor feels his touch on her. Curious she slowly unfurls her eyes and spots, Aditya, in front of his face, still, fixing his intense eyes on her. She parts her lips to say something but before that he mouths,

“No, Angel. I don’t need your body. I need your soul. Because only you can free me from these nightmares.”

His words have emptiness and fear. Unmindfully Nandana utters,

“Nightmares…?”

Aditya withdraws himself and sits beside her. Nandana observes anguish is clear in his eyes. Suddenly, he curls himself and leans sideward to keep his head on her lap.

“My nights of sleep…are cursed with…nightmares, Angel. The jingle of that…sitar doesn’t give me peace. It..it haunts me like a bad dream. I am sorry…I yelled at you but I…I was scared. After a long time, I dreamt…it again. Please Nandana…save me from…these nightmares. These…will kill me.”

He mouths with lots of gasps and pauses. His fingers are now clutching her thighs in desperation. Nandana’s quivering hands automatically rise to caress his hair. Where is that stubborn, arrogant, rude Aditya Oberoi? This man seems too vulnerable to push away. She keeps on fondling his mane and asks in a sweet voice,

“Aditya, you know fear has two different meanings. One is, forget everything and run and the other is, face everything and rise. It’s up to us, what meaning we choose. Your Mom’s sitar tune frights you because you always associate it with her death. Try to relate it with her love and life; then it will only give you sweet memories.”

“I fear to sleep alone.”

Aditya counters.

“We are all alone, Aditya. Try to accept this truth and you won’t feel lonely anymore.”

Nandana answers calmly. Suddenly Aditya gets up and grabs her by her shoulders. His penetrating eyes are searching for the ultimate truth in her serene eyes,

“But I want to live with this lie that you will never leave me. Tell me, Angel, which truth do I have to accept? That you love me but still will leave me with my nightmares or you hate me and can never forget our past. Tell me, Angel.”